Life, as it is.

You are beautiful as you are

2011-06-01T15:27:00.009+08:00

Life has been pretty smooth recently. It's been so long since I stepped in here.

3 months after lessons ceased, I only started writing my resume last week and applied for a job. I got my first application and interview done last week and signed contract yesterday. I guess I'm quite blessed because everything seems very smooth and planned. I am really thankful with what I have right now and the people around me who never stop supporting and motivating me. I will be starting my training class in 3 weeks time, provided my pass will be approved at the mean time as well.

Can't wait to start work, meet new friends and learn new things! EGGCITED.

I am sure there will be small humps along the road, but I am always ready with my vehicle to drive over the imperfect humps.

Be grateful in life, people.

Momentary

2011-04-01T20:16:00.000+08:00

Brunei was definitely fun. Although it was short 3 weeks only, I have to admit it was fruitful and interesting. During this trip, I realized the importance of having friends around and not to forget, family too. No matter what happen, you must not neglect your friends and family because they will always be there for you under any circumstances.

Everything is so vague right now and I dare not to make any moves. I am currently doing nothing here, just hoping for the good news after the submissions. It is so hard to rest my mind it keeps running non stop fretting about future. What can you do when you only have this much? Not much. I can only make full use of what I am left with. What to do? Life is tough.

Anyway, while waiting for everything, I think I should really relax first. There's no point rushing everything when you are not given with good options nor make right decision, right?

Alright, gotta head down to cinema for a movie now. xoxo!

I am awesome

2011-03-26T02:37:00.000+08:00

This truly is inspiring.

How to be alone - Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in.

And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

It's just like a tree with plentiful of apples

2011-03-19T20:41:00.002+08:00

Love these?
Check them out here: Soul and Eu Amo Vintage in Facebook.

I had two productive days on Thursday and Friday. I've had one of my wisdom teeth pulled and it was not bad after all. I thought it would be as bad as those situations mentioned in the forums. The wait took 3 hours in total and all the cleaning, explanations and extraction of wisdom tooth took half an hour. Registration fee and extraction cost $3 only! It was a three-legged tooth it's so awesome! I was told to go back on Monday to extract another one again. I coloured and had a hair cut at the salon and not forgetting painted my nails in the afternoon. Everything was done for $80. Things are really cheap back here. One of the things I love about Brunei. During the night, I went to watch movie with friends and catch up with them. Everything was done in a day, I feel so productive! Stayed over at Jane's and we had 2 photoshoot sessions the next day.

I love everything, except for the sun burns. My shoulders are badly hurt and they feel hot. Right shoulder is redder than the left one, uneven skin tones. However, all of these are worth doing it. I never realized I wasn't that dark as I thought until yesterday.

At least I had good times in Brunei this year.
Love it. :)

There are more to this

2011-03-15T02:03:00.000+08:00

I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE NOT WATCHED BURLESQUE, LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS AND BLACK SWAN!

Hey mister!

2011-03-13T02:29:00.000+08:00

SO CUTE. How can you not love this kid?

I made him buy me this toy flower during valentine's day. Didn't want real roses because toy flower is able to last forever, rather than wilt and die.

He might not be the most romantic guy in the world, but he is the most loving, generous, honest and logical person I have ever met.

A reminder to you, and myself

2011-03-11T05:04:00.000+08:00

Don't be sad if that person doesn't initiate to call or text you so often like how he always does last time; Because he might be busy with his important stuffs. Be understanding and you will come to realize that everyone has their own priorities and they've gotta do what they have to do. And fret not, he might be thinking of you all the time you might not know.

Don't be disappointed when you don't hear any sweet or caring words from that person as before; You would rather hear it once in a while where he really means it and comes from heart than hearing it everyday that becomes a norm, and then numb.

Don't give up if that person doesn't contact you for few days too because like I said, priorities. He might be thinking of you and flashing back all the memories every hour to a point that he thinks he's talking and spending time with you every minute, mentally. Be understanding, generous and forgive him for his forgetfulness, carelessness, being insensitive and care-free. Let that person be himself once in a while, without having any obligations to meet your harsh expectations all the time.

L E T L O O S E .

This sounds quite optimistic and I would like to stick to that mindset right now. Not being in denial, brainwash myself but to be matured and a better person. Of course, to maintain a better relationship as well.

I know harsh reality and ridiculous me will kick in anytime soon but for god's sake I need to be as logical as possible. As much as I want to rant and vent, I have to be cool.

Happy holiday everyone!

Don't ever look back

2011-03-09T01:14:00.001+08:00

Changed my blog layout few hours ago. Take note that there is no tagboard at the side anymore as there were a lot of unknown spammers leaving random messages and trying to advertise their sites. It annoys me, very much. Any words for me? Just drop it at the comment section after every post. Thank you. (:

I guess I will blog more often nowadays, obviously I've nothing much to do in Brunei. Yay? Just FYI, I'm quite active in twitter and I update almost everyday. If you're a stalker of mine, you know where to find me, @SusanLiew!

I really love this app from iPhone, it's called LomoLomo! It gives photos more effects and they are really gorgeous!

What's new?

2011-03-07T14:33:00.005+08:00

I'm back in Brunei, most probably settling for a month only. I'm so used to Singapore that I need some time to get used to my own house here. Things changed a little and I get confused with itty-bitty stuffs around the house. I didn't know where to turn on my shower and I forgot the switch to own my light. Most of all I don't even have my own room anymore because my new maid is sleeping on my bed and the whole room is practically like hers. Feel much foreign in this house right now. My dad has been rearing chickens and the compound really looks very much like a kampung now, not to mention the smell as well! I think I've transformed to a city girl and I find all these are kinda eeky to me.

This is only the first day and I'm looking forward to spend my days in the kingdom of unexpected boredom, Brunei.

I miss the people in Singapore now, especially dou dou!

Rainbows after rain

2011-01-27T14:58:00.008+08:00

Regrets:
1) I got A for my first test in one of my modules. Then I got C+ for the second test. Major jump. I regretted for not taking leave of absence (LOA) that day so that I don't have to take the test hence it won't affect and pull my previous grade down. I should have listened to my friend. Cheat way but at least I could maintain my grade.

2) I was falling asleep in one of the tests and didn't really manage to finish the paper due to lack of time.

3) I had one of my papers left with 10 marks empty. Insufficient time, again.

4) FYP. Our team didn't meet the user requirement of the project thus ended up with bullets and knives from the evaluators.

I was very upset and disappointed in myself. Why are all these happening on me at this time? This is my last lap of poly, last chance to boost my GPA and I just had to screw things up. I blamed things for being such a bitch and not on my side. I blamed the papers and people for not beautifying everything that I am doing right now. I blamed for hindering me to meet my expectations. If there's expectation, there's disappointment, then regrets come after that. It's funny how expectations can affect oneself when you are the one who created it. When there are faults, we tend to blame others for causing this or that consequences, bombard them as if they deserve all the guilt. However after all the failures and reflections that I've done for the past few days, I realised that I should not to blame others but myself. I think I'm quite good at handling that right now. I've learned how to correct myself and think through every single process from the beginning when things go haywire.

Corrections: 1) If I take LOA, I could have give that test a pass and maintain my grade. I shouldn't be so lazy to visit doctor and get mc, just for the sake of the grade. And although I didn't take LOA, I should have studied hard enough to answer the paper. Lack of knowledge.

2) If I get enough sleep before the test, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO COMPLETE THE TEST.

3) If I really know how to answer my paper, i could have done it fast and not to spend so much time on each question figuring how to solve it. Again, lack of knowledge.

4) Teammate was stubborn. If I was stubborn enough to stop my teammate from developing further than required earlier ago, I guess we should be able to block the bullets and knives. We're asked to develop 2D games, and we added 3D games extra. Act smart. LOL. Now I know why is too much of GOOD is not good.

Oh well, what's done is done. No point mourning and keep harping about it. At least I've learned and acknowledge my mistakes. It's all the learning experience that counts isn't. Fuck the grades okay haha! I'll grow from it and fret not, I grew as a person! And I'm looking at the silver linings in everything right now! How great. :D FYP is over and I'm left with the final exams. I'm very determined to study hard for the last one right now.

Wish me luck!

De novo

2011-01-04T15:19:00.006+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I bet many of you are quite optimistic in inviting this wonderful new year right now, setting resolutions, goals and whatnot! Year 2010 has gone by and we can finally change our scribbled calendar or organizer at last! Somehow seeing brand new calendar waiting for me to fill up events, plans and schedules, that just made me feel fresh and cheery. Unpleasant events and regretful memories will be removed and here we are anticipating good things to happen on us, hopefully no disappointments and mistakes as much as possible. Anyway, I am not going to recall what I've done last year because what done is done, and do not wish to bring back any bad memories too. Mainly it's because I can't really remember what had happened actually. Short term memory, you know. excuse. (:

To be honest, I am kind of dreading this year to arrive. Just so you know, I will be finishing poly in 2 months time and graduating on early May. What's next? Don't ask me that question because I'm not quite sure about it yet as well. Now I understand why people always wish to go back to kindergarten time when you are still under sheltered by parents. Just realized that this time I'm really on my own now. I think I'm not ready yet. Anyway, I'll just go with the flow. And if you happen to not have my account in fb, this is how I look like now. Hair still growing, fats still adding on and not to forget those zits too! :D

Toodles! Love.

She, my heart.

2010-12-16T14:46:00.005+08:00

Few days ago, I told my brother to inform my mom to look out for Singapore registered companies in Brunei. Just one sentences, and she replied this:

Dear Xian

I am sad. wondering why you are tired of living in Spore ? Any thing make you so up sad ? Your study ? Dom ?
Or you worried cant find a job there after school ?
Mama understand how you feel staying alone far away from home. Please take it easy, if there is a will, there is
a way. Mama believed you can cope every thing, over come when problem facing you. Please don't give pressure to yourself.
Yes, how i wish you can come back to Brunei to work if you can. That is what every parents wish their children can stay together, share the love, happiness. I can't ask too much from my children, I would be glad if two of you have a bright future any where any place, where you can have a better life, right.
Dear Xian, do not worry about papa, how how and me, we are doing well here. I will try my very very best to share all my love, whatever i can either to you or t t. Talk to me if you have any personal problem, mama is willing to hear from you.
Any way, i will start to pay attention for those Spore's Company here or ask people around for the job.
T T called me saying that he is going to Spore on 21/12. please ask $500 from him. Will bank in to your a/c next month.
Christmas is around the corner, how are you going to spent it ?
Good night, have a good sleep
Love always from mama

And following is what I replied her:

Hi Mama, I'm so glad and appreciate that you're so understanding and there's no words I could use to describe my feelings right now. You're so generous and positive, how could I learn this from you? You take things and life easily although you had a lot of hiccups in life and yet, you're happy-go-lucky still! You have plentiful of love that never fails to give everyone, especially your children. You always cheer me up whenever I have or don't have problems. You don't question me much and never fail to let me have my own way of life. As a daughter, what else can I ask for more? I thought you would be happy if I were to go back to Brunei in future. I was quite surprised that you were sad as mentioned in the previous email. Well, I'm not quite sure as well. I guess Life just tires me up. Maybe I'm just not ready to face the future yet? I don't know. Perhaps I just want to be forever in your arm like a small little girl. :) No worries for what's going to be tomorrow, no worries for what will come to you next because you know someone out there will always going to shelter and protect you. Maybe I just miss that feeling again, feeling of being like a princess. haha! I know I am not supposed to do and behave like that at this age anymore. I've got to fight for myself, find my own life and not to depend on anyone. Nevertheless, I can't help but to feel this way. Anyway, I am not sure with everything yet. About the job hunting in Brunei, I just want to know what are the companies down there so that I can at least plan or visualize where should I place myself at next time. Thank you mom! I love you. Thanks for taking my shits all the time and still taking in right now as always. I know you love my shits as well! hehehehhehe! muahhhhhhhhh! Love, Your princess.

How understanding and lovely can she be? I am so proud to have her! (:

Going back

2010-12-14T14:10:00.006+08:00

What do you do when you miss home? When you miss your past? I look through my photos again and again just to reminiscing them. I dearly miss Brunei a lot, a lot. Although shopping malls and crowds are not as exaggerating as Singapore, although the country is not as efficient as Singapore, not much of entertainment that can drives you crazy all day night long, Somehow, there is this unseen force makes me want to stay there. I guess it's my family, the environment and the pace there. So what if it is slow and boring? That could be your own definition. I would rather have a stress-free mind and my own pace to do what I want. I don't mind going back after graduation, even if it means settling down there. I'm serious. I'm tired.

Which direction?

2010-12-10T16:08:00.003+08:00

To wait for changes to be better? Or to get something that is already good? Both are tough.

Reaching soon

2010-12-09T15:53:00.005+08:00

3 more weeks to 2011 and whatever happened in 2010 have not really register in my brain yet. Time certainly jet by real fast! Christmas is around the corner. Town and shopping malls are lightened up with breathtaking lights and decorations. The only thing missing now is snow. I truly want to experience snow at least once in my life time. I love cold weather and would wish to play snow during winter. Somehow I think that Christmas is like an international festival for everyone and every race in the world. People really take Christmas seriously by putting up decorations everywhere. Be it any races, everyone is looking forward to Christmas. Hmmm. I thought it is a big thing for Christians only?

On the other hand, I am not enjoying this December though. Lessons are still going on till 17th and finally I've got 2 weeks holidays till 2rd Jan. 2 weeks is never enough for me, for everyone. Great, I've got FYP to complete too and I am still stuck! Sometimes I really wonder why did I even choose this course without fully understand what I am going to do throughout the 3 years. Sigh. Stress level maxxx! I really have no idea on my FYP.

Oh, Dom and I have made an unbreakable vow yesterday; which we must run every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday for healthy purpose. As I mentioned before, I want to tone up, and achieve at least 52kg ! We're aiming to get rid of the muffin top!

I always thought Harry Potter was a boring story and movie. Few weeks ago, I went to watch Harry Potter's 7th movie, which is my first HP movie. Then Dom made me watched from the 1st till the latest one again. Now I understand why people are so crazy about HP. DUMBLEDORE DIED! :( Anyway I love the Weasley twins. They are so cute and handsome!

Alright, that's all for now. Wordy post I know. Class ended. Gotta run!

Won't do the same

2010-11-20T04:32:00.005+08:00

Grenade, this song keeps running in my brain, before sleep and awake. I could listen to it whole day night long. I love how Bruno Mars presented the lyrics as if you could really relate them to yourself. I have been very persistent to go for jogs since last month but apparently I have not done once yet. It's either I have plans last minute or the weather is not doing me any justice. I got myself 2 shorts from Cotton On for runs two days ago. That is how badly I wanted to run/jog. Anyway, I am really going to run this evening. Well I just want to keep fit and tone up? Nothing's wrong with it because I realized I've been eating unhealthily everyday. Chillies, fried, meat, oily, fats and very little of veggies. I hate to see myself having lumps around my waist, even if it is just a small tyre. It's just unglam to me haha! Call me vain because I'm that conscious about myself. Especially looking at my fishball face on TEENAGE magazine! I wonder if it's the cameraman's fault or it's just me. By the way, catch me on TEENAGE magazine December's issue regarding Republic Poly!

I think my dad's DNA is coming back in my body again. All the tempers, impatient and anal attitude and mindset, it's like 24 hours actively active! I get anal easily nowadays and I'm pretty sure it's not PMS's fault. Even if it's just a small thing being cocked up, it's a doomed day to me. I get very sensitive towards everything and feel disgusted by almost everything anytime any day with anyone. Miserable.

I tend to see people's hidden agenda in everything they do and tell myself that they want something from you, not for good definitely. I'm not trying to be judgmental but I could foresee the fact! It's so obvious that I don't understand why some people just can't see it. Sometimes I think I don't really want peace because it's boring and have the intention to make some wars. It's like a love-hate thing. Something is wrong with me terribly. I think I have devil inside me. I think I need to start going to church. Bye.

Life, as it is.

2010-10-25T14:27:00.003+08:00

Life is really amazing be it good or bad, it totally amazes me all the time.

Well at least to me. It's so amazing that someone can never fails ruining your day, your mood, brain, heart and plans when they belong to you. So vulnerable; so weak. At times we cannot control ourselves to do what we want to do and often influenced or affected by others, but at the same time, you yourself know that it's your own life. Life, paradox.

So much to say so much to express too overwhelmed. I don't really know how to rephrase them into words. If I could, I would like to show y'all my heart and try to understand every single thing of me. I don't really wish to harp or repeat it again, because that will make me feel as if it just happened yesterday only. Forget is what I want right now. To sum up, what's right and what's wrong, I don't know anymore. Even though I know it's right to do this for the sake of myself, I will still consider the 'wrong' part and try whether it can be fixed again or not. But what's next? I lose myself. Where's my stand? What's my stand? I really don't know.

I guess I'm having internal conflict within myself right now. Sounds pathetic, but that's true. I've decided not to hope for anything anymore. Not even expectations or happiness. Let it be, let it flow. Efforts? I guess not, I'm tired. That will then makes everyone happy, to do what they want to do. Hope for the best and everything will be fine and back to normal. Time will tell.

200 pounds beauty is me!

2010-10-14T15:31:00.003+08:00

I believe you've seen this before in my facebook recently. I don't know why am I so proud of this photo. LOL. But if I have a chance to become like this, I don't think i would want to become one? OBVIOUSLY! Anyway, it was a joke of the day. Instead of being glam, prim and proper all the time, I shall let loose and have some fun. Life would be pretty easy and cheerful isn't? And I love to see people's reactions, either they are being confused whether it's real me or not, or their laughters and comments. Because those actually cheer me up! PS: If there's any guy who's willing to marry me even if I'm under this condition, I'll marry him too! HAHAHA!

I MUST!

2010-10-12T09:10:00.003+08:00

3rd year 2nd semester officially starts today and this will be my last semester in RP! I'm already feeling bored before the lesson starts, tell me how to chiong and get A everyday? It's just so hard to be consistent! BUCK UP BUCK UP BUCK UP for a better GPA!

Cock up brainies

2010-10-08T19:21:00.006+08:00

I'm sorry that I'm not a frequent blogger and that I always leave my blog dead. A lot of times I have things to share, but when I can blog, it's either I'm too lazy or suddenly blank. Anyway, Kuching trip was awesomely fun! I love the food there ttm and was very happy to meet my relatives after so long! Can't really believe September jet by that fast and it's October now.

School's opening in a week and I'm not quite ready yet. Oh, I'm performing for Reflections- Muse, modern dance item end of this month. It was kinda last minute for me to join back because I didn't know my instructor actually blocked me into the dance already. Therefore I have to get back and catch up with the rest since performance is within a month! My muscles became weak and stamina deteriorated already after stopped dancing for about 4 months. I was quite surprised that everyone improved and yet I'm still at the same spot. Oh well.

Results for previous semester is out. Yes, I didn't maintain, for the first time. Now I've really gotta buck up for the last semester and achieve at least GPA 3.8 or above to pull up my overall GPA, irregardless whether I'm going Uni or not. I must.

On the other hand, just a random thought down here; I can never see myself settling down with another person ever, be it now or in future. Because I can never trust anyone 100 percent fully at all. One thing about me: I always want to stay within my comfort zone, so whenever I have difficulties or obstacles, I will always want to run back to my comfort zone. Imagine if I were to fight or quarrel with my husband next time, I will definitely want to go back to my own home, to where my mom is. Yes believe me I will do that, no matter how old I am. Even now, everytime I quarrel with him, I will always want to go back to my place and just forget about it, about everything. I'm not a risk-taker person. I would rather be safe than taking any risk, or should I say, I would rather have nothing, than having something that hurts me or give me hell. Fuck you if you dis me, cuz that's just me. (: I won't say you're so ugly cuz your parents are ugly, cuz that's just you. So yea. Leave me alone. (: Maybe I really won't want to settle down, who knows right. I like it this way, do whatever I want and leave whenever I want to. Cuz there's no obligation, no commitment.

September's here!

2010-09-07T17:05:00.008+08:00

September is a hectic month I would say. The first two weeks have already suffocated me as if there's no more oxygen left! I was working in COMEX IT Fair from 2nd to 5th September selling Fujitsu laptops. The crowd was really crazy during the fair. However not MANY people are buying our laptops as you know, it's a little pricey due to the quality, durability and its brand. Anyway I gained a manly voice from the fair and was kinda sick too. I realized that I hate crowd. I get impatient when people are so ignorant and noisy. Well that's the whole idea of the fair. I had to repeat, introduce and convince customers about the products and get them to buy as well. And I realized I don't quite like doing sales because I hate begging people. haha! But there's one thing I love the most is getting to know new people around and make friends. It's so fun to know others, observe and talk to them. Especially the place I worked during the fair, there are different types and levels of people, be it age, network, career and education. I love to gain different kind of knowledge/information from them, to see how and what they are doing right now and compare with myself, to know what are the differences and similarities. From here, I can at least get some ideas and experience from them. On top of that, I will know whether I am lacking behind or doing the right thing or not. Surprisingly, I miss my colleagues,except for customer snatchers. LOL! They all are nice people and willing to help me whenever I need to.

Anyway I sold 17 laptops in 3 and a half day; I went off early the last day, too tired and voiceless. Overall I at least earned 300+ bucks I think. Next, I'll be working in Food Fair @ Suntec City, again. This time round is for my part time job company Chocolato. Chiong-ing for money currently to cover up my expenses. Yes, overspent on ridiculous facial treatment. In between these, I'm having exams too, 3 more to go I hope I can juggle between both work and studies! After that, a week trip back to Kuching! I love how September overloads me! (:

Talking about this month, I totally have no idea on how to celebrate my birthday. I have a group of friends here and there, they are all over the place and I really don't know how to decide! My class is having a chalet from 22nd to 24th and they want me to go over. I have a group of friends here in hostel and according to our tradition, we usually celebrate together unless we're in overseas. And, Dom and his friends as well. HOW AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I think the best way is to NOT celebrate at all, or i'll just celebrate alone. hmm. HAHA! IDK! Alright, shall blog again when I feel like.

Taken from Denise's blog. 27.08.10 Happy belated 2nd anniversary D!

Ohana! :D

2010-08-26T04:57:00.003+08:00

I love how the family protects over me when they think he's bullying me. The mom will always make sure that I'm treated well else she will slaughter him; The dad will always ensures that everything is fine and reminds me that he's actually a good boy and if he treats me bad he will slaughter him, too. The sister always motivates, assures me and help pull myself together when I'm not okay. I love how we have heart to heart talk at nights, be it with the dad only, or Mom or Denise. The dad told me that they are always on my side, and D is on his own, so if anything happens, they are always there. haha how cute! The mom even investigated him and thought that he has something on out there! They always tell me that I'm a part of their family and thank me for being so patient with him. haha! This is just like my second home here. I feel loved and assured. (: Even the dog is on my side everytime we quarrel! She will just only bark at him non stop, be it my fault or his. I never regret knowing this lovely family; how much unconditional lovessss they have given me, experiences and knowledge that they taught me, it's countless. I dare to say that I love them more than I love him, to be frank. I'm so lucky to have them. (:

2010-08-19T02:00:00.001+08:00

I'm going to leave you for good, someday, somehow, I can do it; watch me.

My chum

2010-08-17T01:23:00.004+08:00

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…"

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia) Extracted from Matilda's tumblr. Great post isn't. I've always thought that soul mate has to be the one that shares common interests and hobbies with you, do the same things together and think alike as you. However, that's not true at all though. A soul mate should be the one that makes you a better person; and even if you face obstacles, he/she should always be there to lift you up as if you are able to tackle the world no matter what. The best kind of love is the love that has no expectations at all. So have you found yours? (:

2010-08-10T11:35:00.002+08:00

Final Year Project ended, finally. Presentation went quite smooth and thanks to the sleepless nights, I have extremely dark circles now. 4 more days to 3 weeks holidays, then 1 week exam and next 4 weeks holidays again. The only thing I would wish to do is hibernation BUT! too bad I gotta work and read up for next FYP. I did quite bad for this semester I'm sure. My daily grades are quite awful and UT grades aren't that acceptable as well, at least to me. This means that my GPA will drop again, gotta buck up for the last semester already since I'm graduating. I wonder whether I can get into U or not. Everyone keeps pressurizing me about getting a degree. So far it's not really in my list though. At times I hate people asking me what am I gonna do after graduating from poly because I really don't know yet. I feel that my path is so vague and unsure. I'm sure that I am able to enter U with my current GPA, it's just whether I want it or not. Main reason is money. They told me I could work first and save money for degree next time, which I doubt it's easy. Imagine with your salary minuses off your accommodation, living expenses and transportation. How much can you exactly save per month or year? Kinda unrealistic to me. Loan? I don't like the feeling of owing people for life, it's just like everyday debts. Considering part time degree. I REALLY DON'T KNOW. Another reason is that, I don't feel like studying anymore. HAHA! well, to be more exact, I don't know which path to choose; definitely not IT, and business is a lil hmm neutral. I'm more of an artsy person, definitely will be interested in those events or production side. But, in the end it still links back reason 1. On the brighter side, D is going to Kuching with me this September! My mom is more excited than me, like seriously. She offered and kept asking me to make him go hmm. Well hopefully we will enjoy the food and hospitality there, except for my aunties & uncles' all the 'wa-grown-up-and-so-tall-already-ah'! Mom is switching to a new environment, well not exactly new but I'm still happy for her. Finally she made a right decision and stood on her ground. It's funny that she always ask for my opinion and tells me everything nowadays. D said she's just like a sister to me. She always respect my decision and never really stops me from doing anything since young. I guess she trusts me and treats me like an adult. YAY! Till here then. Tata! (:

wimman

2010-08-01T00:57:00.004+08:00

A lot of times I thought I get angsty when I'm having PMS. After doing experiment/statistic for months, I can conclude that it's not my PMS that causes problems. At least I'm not being unreasonable.

Almost there

2010-07-27T15:09:00.003+08:00

Hi ya all people! Days have been very stressing and just 1 more week I'm free from FYP! omgg dying to get out of this even though I know I'm gonna be dead during evaluation day! Haven't been getting enough sleep lately as well. All I wish is to get my coding done asap. Holiday is in 2 weeks time and I can't wait toooo!

Alarm

2010-07-17T21:25:00.004+08:00

Full of hopes, not to forget, false hopes too. 40 60 shall start from now, again.

beyond everything

2010-07-14T13:58:00.004+08:00

Sometimes you find it very troublesome and annoying to do certain things for someone that is totally out of your way. However, for the loved one, you, subconsciously willing to sacrifice, go all the way and ignore the difficulties that may happen during the process. When you're done you came to think that it is all worthwhile actually. As long as that person is happy, you're happy too. That's love isn't? It's all about compromising, faithful, passionate, hope, intimacy, trust, honesty, romance, fondness, responsibility and roles. Sometimes I wonder do all of these have to be there in order to sustain a relationship/marriage? What if one goes haywire, is it still valid after all? What if there are more to this? For instance, jealousy, betrayal, hatred, temptation, affair, despair, selfish, dull and doubt. These are the factors that actually affect a relationship/marriage the most I'm sure. Is there a model way to settle this? Close one eye or to confront? I think both are hard for a person to gulp in as well. How nice if we can google for the perfect answer. HAHA! I guess it's a combination of hot and cold thingy. Life is such a paradox!

LGMH (:

2010-07-06T19:38:00.001+08:00

"Tell me what you think about my future." "For you, you're a happy person. Especially when you're with your husband, you will always be happy and cheerful." "Why?" "It is because you value things, you value and appreciate for who he is." "Ahh I see." "When your husband sees you happy, he himself will be very happy too. That's why your husband will want to work even harder for you, just to give you the best." "How do you know?" I questioned again with a doubtful thought. He laughed out loud with red face. "Are you referring to yourself?" He laughed damn hard again and smiled from ear to ear. ME SO HAPPY! :D Because he doesn't behave that sweet at all usually. Imagine a guy who plays games and guitar all the time, totally impatient, not romantic at all and don't shop or follow you whenever you go. OKAY I WAS JUST EXAGGERATING. LOL! He picks me up after work every single time irregardless how late it is, he buys/tapao food so that I don't go hungry, he waits for me during lunch so that we can eat together everyday, he comforts me whenever I'm down, he bought a bouquet of roses for me after my performance, he always let me win whenever we fight verbally or physically, he makes fun of my flaws and still tell me that they are cute and special and yada yada yada. *goosebumps* Okay all I wanted to say is that he's very sweet. (: This post will be totally opposite from the previous post I guess. I'm much better now, as in mentally. Sometimes you just got to leave yourself alone and think through about everything. At least this works for me. Like they said, take your time and go with the flow; don't push yourself too much. All I can say is things are falling into places gradually. Why not slow and steady win the race.(: Things are sailing smoothly except for my FYP. The deadline is in 2 weeks time and I'm still hanging there. =S I can predict my upcoming days already. Sighh. Nevermind, food can make me happy. :|

Everything seems so tall and high up

2010-06-28T15:00:00.002+08:00

I think I'm lost. Have you ever have the feeling where you have no motivation or will to do everything? Yes, every single thing. Much to my disgust, I just feel like letting go of everything. FYP, studies, dance, life; Zero, to a point that I feel like dropping out from school. I've been missing from dance lessons for at least a month, skipping few classes ever since school started. A lot of times I know things are urgent and I need to get it done asap, but for the next moment I am very reluctant to do it even though it's going to cause me a bomb or hell lots of troubles. I wonder what has gotten into me. I hate my brain. It always has the power to lure me to the dark side when I'm doing fine, to a point that I think I'm a sadist. Whenever I'm stable and doing fine, I will start to have pessimistic mindset and it drives me crazy. I can't help it because to me, everything is too good to be true. It is either momentary only, or gotta be some motives behind for being this way. Tell me what to do. I think I have problem with myself right now. Internal conflict? Ha. Sucks to be me. How I wish time can fly back past few months where I was very optimistic, motivated and eager to do what I'm doing right now. Guess life does have its ups and downs. I need to see something/situation that is worse than what I THINK I am in right now, then I'll appreciate what I'm going through currently. Tell me how to pull myself together. :( No you can't pretend that the airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars because they are really airplanes. Face the fact.

Just like an ocean..

2010-06-26T18:21:00.002+08:00

I'll start to tweet once I get my Iphone! :D I think. HAHA! This is gonna be a short post because I don't wanna write more, else I'll be start complaining, as usual. TATA!

Woah!

2010-06-14T15:36:00.008+08:00

After a month and I'm back here, that's so early! My laziness rocks all the time! I realized that I only blog during lesson. This proves how boring lesson is and can never focus anymore. There will be a few overdue photos below thanks to my laziness! Holidays were not bad; work, slack and enjoyed with love! Btw, cheese is the love right now! :D

Momentum 2010

Flowers from <3! When we're bored... Dom's bday!

Here, my GF! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRL!

Fruitfulitacious!

2010-05-14T14:12:00.002+08:00

The sky is so punctual it rains every afternoon. I think the earth is dying soon, changes between hot and cold with a blink of an eye. I won't be surprised if Singapore snows. Don't you think that life is equivalent to weather? Full of roller coaster rides. Just when you think your life is as smooth as silk, obstacles, hiccups or people will just come spice up and beautify your life. I really gotta thank those people, those obstacles and difficulties I encountered, that make me stronger as a person as well as owning a grown up brain. (: From the bottom of my heart, thank you very much. I am so glad and appreciate with what I have right now; friends, family, loves one and not to forget hiccups in life too! Especially Denise, who always open up my eyes and heart, taught me how to see good in people/things rather than behaving pessimistically. and D, who taught me how to settle things with sense and logically but not emotionally. I learned not to give up things easily when there are obstacles in front. Instead, I learned how to overcome and settle it. By behaving this way, not only you will improve, you will grow up as a person as well. <3 Hostel babes, who always listen to my complaints and problems, share my joys, tears and nonsenses 24/7 unconditionally! Brunei loves, although we're an ocean apart, they will still pop out randomly just to update each other; you know who you are (: Family, who always support me under any circumstances. ps: This is not a will. HAHA! :D

Yum!

2010-05-11T00:27:00.004+08:00

Yes I'm working later on, finally! Wish me luck! :D

@ here, scooping ice-cream. (: Winnie, does this logo look familiar?

well well well

2010-05-07T15:34:00.002+08:00

I love this! muahaha! :D aiming for the whole sem AAAAAAA! :D TGIF but I have dance training later! Knees and muscles, please love me.

Fly away!

2010-05-04T15:47:00.007+08:00

YAY I finally flew a kite! Well, to be precise, 2 kites. Just when I was in a hyper mood seeing the kite flew higher than the HDB flat, then it flew away due to my clumsiness as I accidentally let go off my hands when holding the string. It was hilarious looking at the handle flew together with the kite and Dom had to run and catch it like mad but failed. The wind was too strong and it flew away just like that. I wonder where did the kite go after that? Hit some random car on the road? stuck on the tree? Or fly into a hdb flat. HAHA! Denise brought down a mat and Hazel tagged along after that. I did not want it to end just like that because everyone was there! So D went to get moolah and we got another kite from 7-11 again. Yeap we flew and ran happily. :D Next aim, picnic with sandwiches and juice! Oh, he's gonna bring me to get my eyes fixed this saturday I'm getting blind! Er short-sighted actually.

hello mini eyes hotdog lips square centralized face! :D

Suck my brain!

2010-04-30T15:12:00.004+08:00

What's best for me? I really don't know. I'm so bored in class I have nothing to do! Facebook is boring. Msn is boring. Class is boring. Life is stressful and boring. It's Friday today but I don't feel like TGIF. I feel like making myself more busy nowadays. Asked a friend of mine to find a part-time job for me. Hope I can get it and no back out! Emo period? I don't know. Is ignorance really bliss? I only feel loved from dance. Period.

Make Lemonade Puhleaseee!

2010-04-28T19:25:00.010+08:00

If you're wondering whether Susan is alive, yes she still is. Year 3 isn't that easy as I thought. Other than facilitators' expectations and standards increased, I have a Final Year Project to deal with throughout the whole semester as well. What do I do in my FYP? Nothing much other than the fantabulous programming and IT; GPS Tracking System. Yes, my FAVOURITE of all. It's effing hard to understand what our advisor wants and whatever we learned do not really help much too! Republic Poly ain't a Relax Poly at all. On the other hand, I have to be damn on and attentive participative active contributive questionative whateverative in class in order to score A for daily grade everyday, EVERYDAY! I need energy booster I feel so lost! :( I chose the wrong course I swear. Business Information Systems? More like ~~Business~~ Information Systems/Computing! Look at my face! Do I look like an IT person? -.-I know I have always been complaining but I just feel like it? If I'm doing something that I like even though it's tough, I don't mind at all, but it's IT! Oh well. Face it. Lemonade, remember! :D Anyway, I had a goody good day yesterday, more like a de-stress day; spent my evening with the girls though it was my anniversary. <3 love them! :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA don't you just love me! :D

Geeky!

2010-04-10T17:49:00.003+08:00

Short post here. Performance was good and enjoy being on the stage, as usual. Photos are uploaded and spread like fire in fb already, if you have my fb. :D School is finally gonna reopen soon, next Thursday! sigh. Same routine all over again. Hopefully I will like the modules that I chose for this semester and most of all, to have new lovely classmates too. (: oh oh, my off day is on Wednesday! Classes on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday wuhooo! Financial Accounting Marketing Business Process Model Human Resources Information Systems

What's up?

Lemon lemonade bumble bee!

2010-04-07T23:38:00.003+08:00

"When life throws you lemons, you make lemonade." That's the line I always use to brainwash myself whenever I receive lemons. Who said life is easy? Life is never easy at all. To me, it's either do or die. I came to learn a lot of things; Good and kind people are not easy to be, people tend to take things for granted and do according their ways as though it is right to do when you're too nice to them. Then sooner or later they climb on top of you and stomp you to death. The world is realistic and selfish much uh. I've actually typed out a lot in this post but I pressed the delete key again. Maybe I just realized that I have too much fire burning inside I guess. I should just stop this bad habit for having the hatred feelings and be more optimistic. I apologize if I ever hurt anyone of you with words when things are not right. Please understand that I'm a straight forward person and that I always expect perfection. People say I'm a result-based person. I don't care how much efforts you've put in and how much hell you've gone through during the process, as long as the result is the desired one, I'm cool. To get things done, you just have to be chop chop and frank and no nonsense should be accepted. That's my theory. (: I know I've fired and bombed a lot of people recently during rehearsals and runs, but can't blame me because we expect you to be extremely well-prepared by now since tomorrow is the performance and it's gonna be a two days event! If you have problems with it then come and find me beforehand. I don't mind to teach and help you. I really hate those who are very irresponsible and yet they still want to take up this responsibility. Burden or what? You might as well don't take anything at all and I'll be the happiest human alive. Anyway, things are getting better now after all the drills and screws. I hope tomorrow's show will be a success. Else, efforts wasted. Break a leg! :D Oh about the Malacca trip, it was fun! I had a lot of makans and the food there best! I didn't do any shopping at all though. I had my eyelashes permed for the first time and enjoyed foot spa manicure pedicure. :D I don't mind going there again and this time round I'm gonna try to visit the places where it's well-known. Pictures were already uploaded in fb eons ago. Shall blog again after this week, hopefully. (:

Contented

2010-03-24T05:59:00.005+08:00

It's 6.15am right now and I'm still awake. My body clock is pretty much screwed up hope I wont die so early. Blog seems quite dead-ish because no one's tagging at all, but I know there are people visiting everyday, at least 10 according to site meter. not bad at least uhh. :D Still, thank you. Tomorrow's Malacca trip is on, but I have yet to tell my mom about it! Gotta call to tell her later. Meeting my aunt at the airport to pass her my mom's stuffs this afternoon, means I have to wake up early! I'm having a hard time walking right now. Why does everything have to be clashed together? Because of my left leg I can't really dance right now and I'm pretty sure this will be a burden during the trip as well! I can feel the pain starts coming from the right leg now. =( Anyhowww, thanks to D for massaging mai leg and put on salonpas for me every night though I don't feel there's any differences haha. Tomorrow's trip will be D and I's first trip to overseas (although it's only a bridge ahead anyway, he said). Looking forward to it, I AM SHOOO EGGCITED! Well, he's treating me like a princess recently that's why I'm quite perky. HAHAHA! Hope I'll enjoy the trip !

Ain't he cute and naive back then?

Now?

tsk tsk tsk.

It's six porty-pive am right now and I really should catch some sleeeep! Mornight readers!

Currently..

2010-03-22T15:13:00.002+08:00

I always have so much to blog in mind when I'm away from my laptop but when I'm in front of my laptop, my mind is always blank. Well life's treating me good recently except for this part; I sprained my left ankle. Not exactly the ankle but it's above the heel, the part where you can feel the nerves and veins. If you get what I mean. It stings! It feels like it's pumping and biting my veins every second even though I'm not walking at all. All of time but now. Great. I'm gonna miss dance lesson today, sigh. I might be going to Malacca this thursday! Well even though I've booked and paid for the ticket already but I'm still hesitating. FYI, I'll be taking a luxury tour bus from sg. Mom said she's worried about the long distance and my safety. She said I decide on my own. I'm not going alone though, Dom and our friend will be going too, and we will meet up dom's parents over there. See, isn't that bad right? What should I do? I'll feel bad for mom if I go! =\ She's always worried about things though, no matter what. Guess I shall just go ahead, since she said I decide myself? :D I should just enjoy while I can isn't. OKAY, GOING IT IS I! :D Means, I'll be missing 2 dance lessons again. And I'll be freezing another dance again! omg! Here goes again! =S

Happy is me!

2010-03-06T01:11:00.005+08:00

I had a sweet time with daddy today! Yeap just the both of us. We had lunch together, chatted and watch movie in the afternoon. FROM PARIS WITH LOVE is a good show to watch, recommended! Dad was so shocked and couldn't recognize John Travolta (one of the male leads) in the movie until I showed him his previous photo. Daddy is so cute he said he wants to be like John Travolta because he's damn big size with a bald head and mustache now! I made cheesecake yesterday. It was a success, I guess? It looks good and tastes delicious, BUT! the crust does not stick onto the cheese it's all over the place! Guess I need to put a lot more butter next time. I'll try to make different flavour for the next one! :D I think i enjoy baking cakes now haha! I'm going back very very soon, like next week? Sigh. Life life. If there's a job as a slacker I'm the first person to apply it I swear! Can I just retire now? HAHA! Reality sucks. And hopefully thing gets better when I get back to sg!

Unwind

2010-02-27T15:20:00.003+08:00

I complain others for not blogging for such a long time, and I myself didn't do my part as well. HAHA! Fruitful day today I guess. Went to the mall to get my stuffs since noon. @ Cheezbox now, chilling alone. (: supposed to book air flights, but I forgot to bring my passport out. great. Well, slacking right here. Kinda like self-therapy thing. HAHA! Oh I dropped my $50 ang pow fug! wasted. =( My days here were great! Other than non stop eating, I rot and watch drama/anime at home and I enjoy it much. Hanged out with friends was a bonus too! Stayed over at Karen's; we gossiped, watched movie and girls talk! :D Had high tea at Empire Hotel with the girls as well. Life's great right now, but sinful! Brunei is really a place for you to run away from reality, at least it is to me. (: Thinking of going back to SG make me stress, but I don't wanna stay in Brunei for tooo long as well. :S Confused much! I want to get a driviing license here but mom said I don't need that as I won't be driving in SG. sian. nvm, she/my bro shall be my driver then! HAHA! I'm supposed to get my wisdom teeth extracted soon, but I'm scared! should I should I? To tolerate the process and swollen face for few days, or to tolerate the constant pain for don't-know-how-long? sigh! I think Brunei's weather is really hot for me. Not that Sg's is not hot, but I think it's hotter here. I have pimples on my face and it's all over the place right now! >=( okay blame the weather! =p So much to do, so little time! =\

:D

2010-02-13T10:48:00.002+08:00

Sitting down in Coffee bean @ KL airport, waiting for the next flight @ 3pm! Dead tired and sleepy. Can't wait to see everyone! :D I suppose there should be fireworks and fire crackers tonight! :D I'm shoo lucky I think I can win in gambles! :D Gonna be a BOOMZ! :D Internet speed here is super slow. I bet Brunei's sucks big time too omggg! :( Oh I'm very reddish now! Red nails, red watch and red bag! I LOIKKE! wee~ :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D!

End of Year 2!

2010-02-12T13:48:00.003+08:00

OMG! Exams finished! :DDDDD No more burden for now! I know that my GPA gonna drop like shit this sem but I dont care cuz I'm going home tomorrowwwww! =D Away from Sg away from stresssses! :D Gonna meet mummy and family! :D Gonna rot and play! :D No more tears and angers! :D Depression shoooo! :D Heep heep hoorayyyy! :D I am so happy my blood is rushing I want to jump like there's no tomorrow! :D Away from reality! muahahha! :D Anyway, I've gotta choreo dance, do events, attend dance lessons, deal shits, projects and most probably work when I come back to Sg again. BIG SIGH I AM TIRED! Screw all those. LOL. =p Oh well just leave those behind and I shall enjoy my holidays back in brunei first! Good chance to slow down and tone myself down as well. PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB ME! unless there's fun, call me! You know my phone number rightt! hehehehheehheehe. >:) HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE! I WANT ANGPAOS MANY MANY MANY OKAY! MUAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Suffocated

2010-02-03T11:07:00.003+08:00

Probably the darkest moment in my life! SOS! ='( someone cheer me up make me happy keep me busy tell me happy things distract me pls!

I WANT TO...

2010-02-01T01:24:00.003+08:00

- dye my hair. - get a hair cut. - paint my nails. - to have no pimples and scars. - have no stress and pressure. - sleep for the whole day long, 24 hours! - stay healthy always. - have everything that I want.

It's ok for me to have everything I want

falling sick, again. -.-

Confined

2010-01-27T10:11:00.009+08:00

2 more weeks to go and there goes Chinese New Year! Seriously, I do not have CNY mood at all. Sg doesn't give me CNY feels. This just kicked into my brain like yesterday only. I haven't get myself new year clothes as well. Not planning to though. (: I'll be back on 13th Feb CNY eve, celebrating in Miri with family and cousins. Dad is not tagging along because his has no passport. -.- Oh well. I'll most probably be staying in Brunei for a month only, planning to get a part time job in Sg. Hopefully this time is the real one! Always wanted to get a job for extra income but unfortunately, performances and events always occupy me. One after another. I love it and somewhat hate it at the same time for keeping me busy and have no extra time for other things.

Yes, I'm involved in an event (Assimilation Program '10) this coming holiday, again. Dragged in by them and I have no choice. Guess there will be a second thought about my part-time job thingy again. Urgh. I can never get this done at all.

Meantime, I feel damn guilty for my mom. She misses me so much but I can't do much for her. I think she wants me to stay in Brunei as long as I could, meaning the whole holiday of mine would be the best, but then I don't think I will allow myself to rot at home and behaving unproductively. Plus, I'm going to 3rd year, I'm pretty sure that I'll have project to do before the school starts too. Mom never fails to shower me with love, care and money. Basically, she showers me with all she has; she makes sure I have enough money and meals everyday; she calls just to catch up with me every week; always being paranoid and thought that I don't eat just to save money -.- ; texts me randomly just to tell me what is she doing; being paranoid on the phone again and thought that I broke up with him because I sounded tired and sad on phone after my dance lesson -.- ; she tells me not to study tooo hard and not to give myself too much pressure. I thought I'm supposed to study hard and get good grades and yet she's encouraging me to slack. HAHA! ; She reminds me how many days left I'll be back to Brunei every holidays; The cutest conversation I've ever had on the phone: 'Xian ah, are you very stressed?' 'erm, okay okay la. why?' 'Oh. Which floor do you live?' '6th floor.' 'Wa. Is it very high? Quite high right?' 'Not really. Just nice. Windy.' 'If you're very stressed and can't take it anymore, don't jump okay. You can come back to Brunei and accompany me. You can work or study here as well, then we both can have breakfast every morning together and then you can send me to work after that. ' '-.- MOM! please la. I still wanna live okay. Don't think so much la! LMAO!' See, how cute is she? Where to get such MOM? Mommy is always the best! She's waiting to cook delicious dishes for me when I'm back to Brunei! :D :D :D Oh oh, my brother and daddy tooo! No matter how worn out and stressed I am here, I know that back there, there will always be people ready to back me up and support me. :D

even though we have hell lot of ups and downs as well, you never give up on me too, cacat. <3

NONSENSE

2010-01-19T01:16:00.004+08:00

I really don't know what's right or wrong right now. It seems wrong to behave like this and yet it's not right to not do anything. All I know is that truth hurts isn't it. Feel like I'm cheated. Great. Human is such a bitchy creature. They take things for granted; they don't treasure what they have in front of them but thirst for things that they can't have. It's the thought that counts. Too much is never enough uh. Guess they like to play this kind of game. Don't be too greedy, else you will get nothing in the end. Prove it to me if you think you're right and clean. Wish you luck.

I AM HERE.

2010-01-06T11:55:00.007+08:00

LOL! Yes I'm still alive. Just that kinda lazy to blog or too busy. I believe that you guys can get any updates from my facebook right? I'm more active in fb apparently. So i think this blog is somehow unnecessary already. =\ However, I still visit my blog everyday though. LOL. Still, big thanks to those who still visit my blog everyday just to check whether I update or not. Sank kew veri mach! :D Exams are happening these two weeks and I'm totally unprepared! I have no idea how to start. -.- At the same time, am having lots of rehearsals for events too. Great. I guess I should just give up on studies and move forward to performing arts side. Maybe this might excites me more. :D Okay, below is the summary of what I've done during December 09. :D

ISF 2009

My choreography, Chinese dance; Mo Li Hua. Modern Dance; Ai Pia Jia Eh Yia. International peeps. <3 W65G Class Outing @ Marina Barrage Chong Pin Jia's Invasion; Shopping, makan, outings, broke! First ever Xiao Long Bao. yummm! Modern Dance X'mas Party; Masquerade! Steamboat during New Year Eve @ Dom's and.. my forever retarded <3. :D

Oh well, feel like it's still 2009 though. To me, it makes no big difference. I don't have any new year or 2010 resolution and stuffs because I don't believe in this kind of thing. It doesn't work for me apparently. HAHA! Guess 'procrastinator, slacker, complainer, angsty' will forever be with me. It's impossible to change la, please. :D 2010, just hope that I live it to the fullest, that's all. :D *shucks, gotta get back to studies, dance, events and rehearsals. -.-*

Just dance!

2009-11-25T12:38:00.004+08:00

Life has been very dramatic and full of ups and downs recently. Despite all the tight schedules, complaints and being worn out everyday, I kinda love and enjoy my busy life right now. :D Anyway who cares,

JUST DANCE ! :D

FINALLY !!!

2009-11-21T02:12:00.005+08:00

Yes, Like finally I've got wee bit of time to blog about my recent life! OXYGEN!!! :D Sorry for MIA for quite a long time and yes, my blog is so dead. -.- Only those advertisements entertained me (thank you) LOL! Reflections is finally over, First UTs are over as well, and now I have to focus on ISF. Oh not to forget Monday's PP Presentation! and and, DRAWINGS as well! =|

11th Nov Wednesday night, Muse II 20th Nov Friday night, Reflections closing bash + flame awards + afterparty! :D Enjoy hell lots yesterday night! :D

More photos of this, click here ! :D

Next, just wanna say that, I've got the academic awards 2009 for being in the top 10% of students for good academic performance in the Diploma (*self pat) :D Alright, that's all. and please TAGGGGG to keep this blog alive! regardless you're a passerby, strangers, friends, family and whosoever. :D compliments and critiques are acceptable! Thank you very much!

Volatile

2009-11-04T12:49:00.002+08:00

POOF! Here I am again. Yes, I'm occupied and suffocated! BUSY BUSY BUSY! UT, PP, DRAWINGS, ISF, MODERN DANCE, DANCE AND DANCE AGAIN! Guess I'm really digging my own grave, how I wish someone could bury me up right now! Have a sudden urge to stop doing what I'm doing right now. Can I? But I think I'll get killed by people. =S Call me a wuss call me slow but that's your own perception only. I'm doing at my own pace and hate people rushing and interrupting unless I ask for help. If you're really an eager beaver then too bad for you because I'm not one of them. I have a life my dear. :) Time is definitely not enough for me to do everything but I have no choice right now. Seriously, one after another. PACKED PACKED PACKED! effing hectic! Okay, I think I should be more considerate and cooperative so as not to slow down everyone's progress, right? Oh well. what to do? BUCK UP, SUSAN! You're half way there already, prove it to them! :D

Overwhelmed

2009-10-18T18:10:00.007+08:00

Hellooo people! Yes, haven't been blogging for almost a month and yes, I'm still alive, obviously. Have been very busy since school started. So much things to do and yet so little time! Just like what others always say:' Why do everything have to come at the same time?' Sometimes in life, we complain and still we have no choice, end up giving in and swallow all of them. At least my PP has been approved and one burden downed. Now I've got to choreo a Chinese Dance and teach but I have not much time. How great is that. My brain is so dry that I can't think of anything right now. Converting and editing songs, obstacles, schedules and yada yada. R U B B I S H. How I wish my brain is superb and poof, here goes the things that I want. Oh, at the same time, I need to accomplish more than 5 drawings of different hotel rooms within a short period of time too. It would be terrific if I have a clone right now. HAHA! I wish. I'm pretty sure that my brain is going to condemn real soon! Ah, I haven't talk about my school life yet, have I? So, new class new classmates. They are pretty okay. Nothing much but the modules for this semester are kinda brain damaging I supposed. Sad to say but I have to admit that this time round, my classmates are not as smart as my previous class. Unlike this semester's classmates, my previous classmates are so smart and efficient that I almost do not need to do anything in class because they always finish everything during the first part of the lesson before me. However for this time round, I really need to use my brain and initiate everything during the lesson. How tiring is that. Oh my eyelids literally weigh 20kg in class everyday! Guess I really shall 'enjoy' all these, rather than avoiding and keep complaining right. Be optimisitic, cuz no pain no gain! :D

Sometimes, I really wish to have Hazel's life, seriously.

Birthday Eve

2009-09-22T23:51:00.001+08:00

It's sweet that relatives and family celebrated with me. Not really a celebration though just cutting a cake and that's it. Nothing much special. As usual, dinner with six to eight dishes at aunt's. Being an organizer could be suckish at times too because you're the one who always arrange and initiate everything, obviously. Well i'm the one who always arranges and brings out cakes and plates whenever there's cake cutting ceremony. I totally don't mind abt that at all. I enjoy decorating the candles and so. But the suck part is that, it happens even when it's my birthday as well! Hello. No one automatically do it for me and in addition everyone's like rushing me to bring out the cake and do the preparation. Not to mention the name, i was even asked to cut a piece of cake out first because my lil cousin is hungry and i haven't even light up the candles yet! But i didn't. HA ! Great. That's one of the reasons of why i do not want to celebrate my birthday in the very beginning. I'd rather not to have it at all if i know this would happen. Oh well, call me a grumpy person or whatever. That's me. Apart from that, i really appreciate mom's effort in buying a costly cake and do all the cleanup for me. Thanks mom. Nothing can beats mummy, right? :) Shall rant no more else i'll be as good as those naggy people. Bla. Happy 19th, Sue. And i mean HAPPY. :-)

HOME

2009-09-15T14:48:00.002+08:00

Nothing changes and almost everything remains the same. Guess I'm the one who's not used to it. Be it the people here, environment and so on. I adapt real fast huh. I feel different in two different places. Everything is okay so far except for the internet (you know), and guess where am I now? Coffee Bean. LOL! Was kinda busy renewing passport and re-entry permit these few days and they are done! Went to Limbang day ago and I wonder how the residents there could actually survive in that kind of environment. Everything is so backdated and they call that tall building their shopping centre? I'm so thankful that I at least grown up in Brunei. Not to be sarcastic or proud but I believe most of you would agree with me on this. The weather is so hot that I feel like a roasted duck whenever I'm outside. I perspire everytime I'm done with bathing too. Air-cond is my best friend now! My pace is very slow right now. I feel relax and stress-free when I try not to think of anything. However, when I think about of going back to Sg, responsibilities and tasks bombarded and they stressed me out! Cuz I'm still in square 1. So far nothing much have been done since it's only the first few days in Brunei and I think I'm gonna be dead meat when I go back to SG. Oh there will be 3 days dance camp on 28th where I'll only be touching down in Sg on the 27th! Not to forget, i'm missing 3 dance lessons during the vacation as well. Well done Susan. Apart from that, i have no idea on the other event(dance) that I'm doing right now. Totally clueless empty and somehow I feel like dropping it. For that I'll be killed as well. Someone please save me!

<3

2009-09-10T23:31:00.004+08:00

Am going back to Brunei tomorrow. :) Hopefully this trip will be fun and full of colours, though it's short for 2 weeks only. I think I'm having mixed feelings right now. I'm excited and at the same time, feeling sad too. Guess I'm emotional nowadays and not used to it so far. Having to fly off tomorrow thought he would be able to send me off, but never knew that he went to Phillipines 2 days before me. End up I was the one who sent him off at the airport. I couldn't help but tear glands were very active at that point of time. I burst out in front of people and they told me not to be sad and cry. Guess what? That made me, and the situation even worst. I am always told by everyone that I'm a strong, mature and independent person. Well to me it's up to a certain extent depending on situations. Apparently, I'm weak inside, really am. For this especially. Guess that is why at times I tend to hide my weakness with those personality for defense purpose. Well, asked to look at the brighter side, perhaps we could make use of this chance to give us a break and will be fresh once we meet up again. :) For this I'm motivated. And I'm pretty sure that what we've gone through so far are worth doing. *Took a deep breathe*

Hazel Lee. Begging me for 'Ba Gua' with that innocent eyes. How adorable.

Stared at me for not giving her the food. Can you read her face expression? Su-parr cute! Now this little Lee makes me miss that Mr Lee frigging much!

Made this so called scrapbook with at least 50 pages for him during CNY 2009. Time does fly like a jet isn't?

Anticipating...

All I need is determination + confidence + luck!

2009-08-27T03:14:00.006+08:00

During the exams period, I had so much to say but I couldn't due to exams and busy days, so I promised myself to blog after exams. Now that my exams are over, and I forgot what I wanted to say already. This happens all the time I swear. Well, I joined back modern dance again! =D Lessons are as usual, every Monday and Thursday. Bruises and floor burns became a part of me ever since I joined back. Seriously, my techniques suck now, deteriorated and my flexibility sucks too! There are a lot of things to catch up again and I nearly forget all the ballet french terms as well. I had serious muscles ache from top to bottom of my body and totally couldn't move after the first day of lesson. I feel like a retired old woman who's trying to dance again. Although it's stressful but I somehow enjoy it. Guess I really need to work hard now. =D Determination and confidence, come to mama please ! Second highlight of the post: Finished exams already and this means that it's the end of the 2nd Year first semester! Time flies damn fast boy. Oh, I'm having holiday now! =DD Sounds good huh, BUT! I don't think I did well in my exams. They seem easy but when you really do it, you got stucked and feel like your information are all over the place and the worst thing is, you can't remember where you'd put your information in your brain! That annoys me a lot. =\ Oh well, all I need for this is LUCK now! I want As and high GPA! Well, more stresses are coming up. Holidays mean have to start doing PP which I have no idea how to start right now. =S The deadline is on October! Besides that, I have to choreo a Chinese dance for an upcoming event on December too; have to think about the costumes, how to get and where to get, practice time and dancers as well. And, modern dance too. =\ Busy! Sigh. Everything always happen at the same time. LOL! --------------- I seriously hate doing air tickets thing. It's freaking troublesome! Okay, that's one of the disadvantages of studying in overseas. Flying back and forth during vacations and CNY, thinking which flight and date to take and fly, how to book or buy and so, everything has to be planned properly. Else, you will be facing a lot problems like fully booked or way too expensive. This makes me stressed too! Well, i've bought this September's ticket back to Brunei, so it's not for me to worry about this right now (except for the going back alone part =S). Now the thing is, I need to book my CNY flight back to Brunei in 2010 already! Can you imagine what is the date today? Still have half a year to CNY 2010 and yet most of the flights are kinda fully booked, or very expensive. Well, I'm not the only kiasu one right now huh. =p Okay, I shall rant no more! It's never enough for me to complain everything. I should learn HOW to appreciate and take it easy instead. =)

OH OH! LOOK AT THE DATE TODAY! IT'S 27th AUGUST! LOL! Okay, happy one year anniversary to me! =D wee~

Had steamboat at Dom's and the family as well. BLOATED!

Done by his dad. freaking hilarious! LOL! Guess what are those ingredients? Syabu Syabu(beef) as the hair, panda fish as the face, fishball filled with meat as the body and Enoki mushroom as arms and legs! "Happy anniversary!" That's what the dad said. =D

Life still goes on, so be optimistic people!

DUH ~

2009-08-13T13:24:00.007+08:00

Life is a paradox, regardless anything. Human beings know what is right and what is wrong and they know they should be good. They tell others to do right things and be good to others, and yet they can contradict themselves by doing oppositely. Funny huh? There are different kind of people exist in this world; kind, helpful, arrogant, fake, weird, cunning, bitchy, busybody, useless, and yada yada yada. Sometimes they disgusted me, a lot. BUT, who am I to judge them right? I have no rights at all, agree? Well, WE have no rights to judge people at all, unless you're asked to be a judge of something else. That's different case then. Sometimes, I find it very annoying when people keep pointing here and there and say: "EEee.. look at that person's face, damn ugly eh! Seriously BUANG!" "Oh my gosh, look at that girl/guy's attire! seriously got no sense of fashion man!" "Eww, why is that person's face so weird? Like kena banged by car." "Look at that couple, not match at all ler~" Hello people ~ Before you talk about them, look at yourself first. Are you perfect enough to say others? People never hire you as a judge or what, so many comments for what? DUH ~ as if you have nothing else to do. And, I really hate those busybody people, keep harping and irritates on the same freaking thing forever and ever, as if you all haven't grown up yet. It goes like this : "Eee, you like that girl/guy ah? Eh seh, I don't wanna be a light bulb la, go go go, walk beside him/her then! don't forget to hold hand ah!" "OMG! I saw him and her walking together just now man! They've got something on for sure! Wanna bet or not?" Then run like an idiot and spread around to their friends, as if they will gain credits from it. Come on la, it's so primary and secondary school thing that we used to do it eh, how old are you now? Still wanna bring the habit to poly or uni life? Other than being an entertainment for you all, I find it rather backstabbing your friends. Be it me myself or my friends, i defend both. I just cannot tolerate this kind of shit. Tsk. Screw your mouth off man, perhaps, your backside. =p One sentence, you are damn lifeless, poor you. =) GROW UP, PEOPLE! They keep quiet doesn't mean they are okay with it and no comments at all. Mind you. Don't wait till people backfire you, we will then have fun as well. What goes around comes around~ Use your freaking brain and put yourself in others' shoes. If you have nothing to do or talk about, just shut your hyperactive mouth, keep quiet and mind your own shit, alright? You're not treated as a mute. =) And please don't talk cock when your balls are not that big. No one will look down on you even though you're not or what. Just be real and be yourself. Faking your identity doesn't do any good to you, and to us as well. In fact, you will get opposite results though. We know what's behind you, so please. The more you boast, the more I'll dig out the truth and embarrass you till you're faceless! 0=) I can be very mean at times, erm, i think most of the time. LOL! So don't try me. Thank you. ps: If you think above mentioned are somewhat similar to your behaviours, please change then. Will be greatly appreciated. :) I don't mind helping you to change yourself as well too. Feel free to contact me if you need to. HAHA ! >=)

2009-08-11T12:54:00.007+08:00

HELLO WORLD! =) It has been a long time that I blogged. How are you people? Life's as usual huh, ups and downs. I think people now are more into the HAZE thing. Every time I log into facebook, sure got a lot of people complaining the weather's hot and hazy. Yes, I'm talking about you, Brunei. Poor you all. For a moment I was glad that I wasn't in Brunei, because I cannot stand hazy and super hot weather. It irritates my nose hell lots. However, Singapore is a bit hazy nowadays as well, guess it's some Indonesia thing going on. And I think some parts of Malaysia are suffering from haze too. Oh well ~ There are a lot of things going on in my mind and sometimes they are really driving me crazy! I'm just too indecisive towards everything. Now I suspect that I'm having split personality. O.O Sometimes I don't think what I usually think, and sometimes I do what I usually don't think or do. Fickle brain, paranoid, complicated and whatsoever la. Okay, I suck at describing and I don't know what I'm talking about now. I'll leave it till next time where I can actually write it in words properly. I was sick last week; mild fever, sore throat and flu. My normal body temperature is usually from 35.4 - 36.2. However during that period, it rose up to 36.9 - 37.4 day after day. To me, it's consider hot already and I thought 37 degree celcius is normal for a body temperature. I'm cold-blooded. LOL. Guess what? I didn't visit doctor at all! Self-recovery. No medicines were taken as well. I think my stubborn-head can kill me sometimes, if it really happens to be H1N1. =S Sometimes, I really don't know what is good for me and what is best for others. Being considerate can actually hinders you in making decision too. I hate myself for being so considerate. It makes me paranoid and indecisive. For instance, given A and B, you're thinking of doing A which will benefits you. But then if you choose A, it will affects another person and you start to feel guilty; And if you choose B, it doesn't do any good to you but it benefits another person and you start to feel regret. Therefore, you will then start to think whether which one to choose, to benefit yourself or others? I seriously cannot make up my mind in this kind of situation and I feel so useless. Exams are coming in one week time and after that holidays! Wait, I haven't revise any of the modules yet. I feel so unproductive. I think I've jeopardized my priorities already. It's like, you're trying to study, but then there is actually other stuff that you wanted and can't wait to do first other than studying. Agree? Three words : Humans are ~~VERY~~ complicated ! I know, I know no one else can help me other than myself. Whatever decisions that I'm going to make, thus I have to bear whatever consequences that are going to happen as well. Oh well, hopefully life will continue go on smoothly lor ~ Obstacles shooo shoooo !

relieved!

2009-07-22T00:09:00.003+08:00

Finally! Have been wanting to blog but was kinda busy with studies. I think I only did well in one UT among 4 and the rest confirm screwed up already. sigh~ Guess I have to buck up for the 3rd UT again. Stress!

Above is the daily grade and 1st UT grades. It is very hard for me to achieve As for my daily grade nowadays. That's why I print-screen this to make me feel better whenever I look at it. Usually I'm fated with B! B! B! B! B! Sigh, where are my As? losing touch with it already. Anyway, I'm kinda satisfied with my UT grades though. Except for one, B+. Because I could actually get A just by one mark only! ONE MARK! damn pek cek! 1 mark, or even 0.5 does make a big difference I tell you. Giving myself high expectations so that I can aim high for my GPA, not kiasu k; treated it as a challenge.

------------------ These are what I've been doing recently.. - Do exercise and jog regularly, at least 2-3 times a week. - Eat fruits and drink fruit juices. - Eat vitamins everyday. - Control myself from eating extra; proper meals and no supper! - Study for tests. - and so on and so forth! I'm proud of myself! HAHA! Hope this will last! As people said that I'm getting fatter now, that's why I'm on diet + fitness plan so that i can lose some weight and fats! It's obvious that my face is getting chubbier now than before. so yea. =|

I had my first ever manicure (as in not by myself) last Thursday and I loved it! However, the blink blinks are starting to go off already. =( Now my nails look cacat. -.- END! LOL.

Early birds != fresh worms?

2009-07-15T18:21:00.004+08:00

I didn't know that there are AIR ASIA flights from Singapore to Miri until my bro told me today! I've booked a return flight via RBA last month from 11th September to 27th September, Singapore - Brunei and it costs me SGD320, whereas Airasia more or less SGD 150++. LOL. Am I too early or what? This proves that being an early bird doesn't mean you will get fresh worms as well! See, mummy, that is what will happen when you got paranoid and become 'gan jiong spider'! Too kiasu liao. HAHA! Oh well, what to do? booked and paid already. Nvm, I'm still happy that I've got a direct flight from Sg to Brunei, because I don't have to wait and travel for additional 2 hours back to Brunei again! =p wee~

Revived.

2009-07-12T20:51:00.010+08:00

BOO! I know, I know. DEAD right? LOL. Was kinda lazy to blog recently; no mood, no inspiration, tests attacked, busy and yada yada. There are actually a lot to blog about, but I don't know how to consolidate, arrange and put them into words. Guess my vocabularies and expression sucks. Now now, will just let the photos do the talking then.

28th June, filming:

the male lead. the couple, aka the director and the assistant. Raffles Place. LOL. what a face. April, ex housemate and I. begger! looked pro. one word, silly! 10th July, STEAM BOAT @ School! this cost us $6 per set only. Damn cheap! :) 7th July, photography lesson: Below are the photos that I personally took and like very much. :) Welcome to RP. U and I. one of the buildings.. sports complex I love this. Natural and cheerful. ;) pebbles! .red. white.

Well, I had to say that RP is a good place to take photos though. The architecture, the nature and everything they have there. By the way, I was using Canon 350D to shoot. Not bad right my skills? LOL! thick skin. Anyway, I love photography, just that I don't have such a good equipment to play with. Overall, it was fun! I'm so gonna buy a DSLR when I can afford one next time. BUT, NEED is more important than WANT, so this will take a looong time to be mine again. haha. Guess I'll stop here to let this post as a picture post, so that it won't be that wordy. Any more, that will be the next post!

a CHEEENA face for all of you.

ta ta people!

BOREDDD !

2009-06-24T18:37:00.002+08:00

I'm damn bored right now! Don't know what to do seriously. Imagine if I were single, I think I'll be bored to death! someone please entertain me. -______________- I don't feel like starting my PP yet, cuz once I start, I'll start to stress. I have to write 2000 words of essay, analyze and think of the company's business strategies, apply to some analysis and yada yada yada! the deadline is on October though. I think it will be a last minute thing again. -.- Hopefully I'll start during July. =| Okay, now year 1 students are asked to stay at home for a week because of 2 or 3 H1N1 cases in RP. How nice is that? But they have to continue there daily learning through eLearning at home. At least they can relax! So does that mean we 2nd year and 3rd year people are superman? We still have to go to school as usual. sigh. Wait till all of us kena then the school knows. LOL. Hey people, please update your blog can? At least they can entertain me when I'm bored. I've been hopping from blog to blog and still remain the same post. :( I wanna do something fun ! but what can I do? When busy, busy till siao, when sian, sian till death! no balance at all. lol. Okay, I shall stop ranting, else, there will be no fullstop! tata people. I blog just to kill boredom. at least it helped a lil? :)

getting serious?

2009-06-22T09:12:00.004+08:00

Heard there are people got infected with H1N1 in hostel. Or it's the same person that I heard from different people? There is one class got quarantined for few days because of this. LOL. I'm not scared though. In fact, I'm so excited! LALA ~ Hope school will close and we will have free holidays! muahaha! Anyway, flu is so common to me that I have flu everyday, so used to it already. Hmm.. wonder what will be the news for tomorrow? I'm so lazy and no mood to study now. feel so distracted in class. not even concentrating at all. =S HELP ME!

2009-06-17T21:58:00.004+08:00

Today my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

*obtained from FML.

LOL. Have been addicted to FML recently. Am still reading it while studying for my UT. AHH! So distracted by everything! Two down and two more UTs to go! Wee~

14.06.2009

2009-06-15T10:29:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY IDIOT! =DD Though you're the one who always make me cry make me laugh like mad make me go crazy as if I'm mental make me feel like wanna stab you with knife everytime behave like an idiot Still, I love you as always hubby!

Had BBQ party at his place and glad that it was successful. =) Thanks everyone!

I'm in love with a girl. LOL.

More photos here in facebook photo album 1, facebook photo album 2 if you are interested. =) enjoy!

Woah!

2009-06-06T02:01:00.004+08:00

Life is full of surprises, really. Am I lucky or what? I CAN CONTINUE TO STAY ON! I CAN STAY IN HOSTEL AGAIN! I DON'T NEED TO MOVE OUT ALREADY! HAHAHAHA ! Damn happy! =DDDDDDD I'm not sure whether it's our appeal approved, or our complaints accepted or the management helped us or whatever it is, AT LEAST WE CAN STAY! wee~ Less troubles, burdens and can save up a lot of stuffs. :) Oh well, life isn't that miserable after all. *winks* What a nice week a had. :)

THANK YOU, QILAHHH!! ; PCD.

2009-06-05T02:06:00.009+08:00

MANY THANKS TO QILAHH!! Because of her offer, I managed to go to Pussycat Dolls' concert last night! WEE ~ It was out of random that she called me last minute and said there is an extra ticket, asked me whether I want to go or not. =) It's very sweet of her. The concert was a blast, everyone was so high and excited. I like PCD's songs, but not a very BIG fan of them. However, I have to admit that they are really good. Their dances, voices and songs. It is as good as the recording voice. and they are HWATT too. Nicole's voice is very sexy. =p You can call me 'frog' because this my first time attending celebrities' concert. Still, it was SUPERB!

Qilah and Fiqah! =DD

the crowd!

the stage.

too bright. lol.

PCD.

and the crazy fans.

Nicole on the stage.

short clip of the concert.

Anyway, there will be more photos and videos in facebook soon.

Qilah, Fiqah and the concert; they've really made my day! =D muacks!

What a week?

2009-05-30T17:41:00.011+08:00

One after another. I'm feeling so stressful now. So much things to do and I don't know where or which to start first. I'm having 2 weeks holidays now and it does not seem to be a holiday to me. IDIOT. First, eviction from hostel. It's kinda long story so I'll just copy and paste the emails to elaborate more on this issue. This is the email that I sent to Amelia:

Hi Amelia, On behalf of Frances, Gui Ping and myself, I’m here to tell you what happened yesterday. Yesterday afternoon, there was an eviction of 2nd and 3rd year tenants to make room for 1st year students via draw lots; 60 male and female tenants will be evicted. We went there to witness the whole drawing process. UNFORTUNATELY, Gui Ping was being drawn, followed by me then Frances. They said that the first priority is always given to 1st year international students, this I agree. However, we think that 2nd year students should come next, then followed by 3rd year students. I find it is very unfair because 3rd year students have been staying here for more than 2 years, or perhaps 3 years already. Why can’t they evict 3rd year students first? I just can’t understand their system. Furthermore, they said in order to be fair, they have to draw lots. Drawing lots to begin with is already being unfair. Besides that, I think we have better reasons to stay and do not deserve this. We have already built up a strong bond with our housemates and we work perfectly well with them; We pay our rental and utility bills on time, we keep our unit clean all the time and we never break any rules. At least we helped them to ease their burden. Isn’t this good enough than those tenants who give a lot of problems, break rules and have hygienic problems? Amelia, if it’s not too much troubles, we really hope that you could assist us in this matter. Thank you so much! Regards, Susan

Another email sent by Frances:

Hi Amelia, We are sort of doing well, apart from getting our names chosen in the ‘unlucky’ draw for getting evicted from the hostel. Hehe. Coincidentally all three of us were picked out. I believe Susan has also e-mailed you about it on our behalf. We really hope that you can help us, as we are very used to staying here already and are in very good terms with our housemates. We just really want to stay here. We totally do our best to keep the place clean and pay the necessary fees on time. I don’t see why we deserve to be kicked out, moreover due to a draw where all are chances are the same with even the third years who’ve stayed here for so long, or those tenants who cause problems. Anyway, recently we’ve mostly been doing our Project scopes and studying for our UTs so we’re pretty much looking forward for holidays. How about you? But well that was before finding out we have to move out. We kind of dread it now as this holiday is actually the best time to move out and also find possible a place to move into. Not considering that however, we’ve adjusted nicely and enjoy our stay and studies here. My apologies for the excessive complaints. Hehe. Any clues on what the good news might be? =D Regards, Frances

And this is what she replied to us:

Dear Frances, Shu Xian and Gui Ping, I am sorry to know that all the three of you have been the unlucky ones who were picked to leave the hostel. As you may have already know, the year 1 students have priority over the hostel accommodation. Therefore, the year 2 and year 3 students who are picked in a draw lot basis have to leave the hostel and find alternative housing near the campus. This happens every year, same to your seniors who previously stayed at the hostel and who eventually have to move so that you have a hostel room to stay in your Year 1. With regards to how the process and sequence in which students are being drawn out to be evicted from the hostel, the hostel management have the main control over it. Nevertheless, both your concerns over the fairness of the whole system have been highlighted to Mr. Jason Tey, Ms. Christina Chan and Mr. Terence Chong. We are already in discussion of the ways in which we can suggest to the vendor on how to improve on the system. In order not to affect your studies, I would suggest that all of you start looking out for alternative housing near the campus. It will be good if all three of you manage to stay at the same unit again so that you can look out for each other. Time is needed for discussion with vendor and improve the system therefore if there is any improvement, it will not happen so soon. Thank you for all of your feedback. Your feedback is important to us so that we know what is happening to our international students who are staying at the campus housing. Regards, Amelia

So yea, that's why I feel so shitty these few days basically. What I want to say is already in the email. Lazy and tired to talk more about it. I just feel it is very unfair and 'bu gan yan'. All of us don't deserve this shit lo. Well, our housemates and three of us had a tear party the whole night. LOL. I hate this feeling, it feels like the first day I left Brunei for Singapore. Disheartening, sad and disappointed. All of us really had a lot of fun and laughters staying together for more than a year already. We always have girls talk at night, we share and eat together, a lot of nonsense and rubbish stuffs we did and everything. Love them too much to be apart from each other. When our names were being drawn, we were quite hyper and crazy because we know that at least we have companion to stay outside. Nevertheless, Ping Ping cried. Our housemates, Tiffany and Tonie were very angry for us and kept scolding the management people. LOL. Frances and I just then realised that we ARE actually going to move out. I thought I can control and tahan, but we saw Tiff cried, then we really cannot tahan and went up to hostel. There goes the mass tear party. =\ So, what's our plan next?(this is a typical question that everyone asks us, which I find it a bit annoying) Everyone was tired and moodless to do things. After that night, we knew we have to do something after all the sobbing and cursing. haha. Yea, we handed in the appeal form and at the same time, trying to find place to stay. Well, hopefully everything will be FINE and enough of this rubbish. Oh yea, btw, our last day of stay in hostel is 30th June, 2009. I HATE MOVING HOUSE! damn irritating, annoying and tiring. sigh~ pundeh! Second, retake UTs. I had two Understanding Tests last two weeks and I somewhat have confidence in scoring good grades. We took one of the tests on papers because UT system was down at that point of time. I was quite happy because I could answer most of the questions. I usually do not have confidence in IT modules cuz I suck at it. lol. However, till yesterday we received an email and said that we have to retake the tests due to unreliable and serious issues in student's answer. WHAT THE HELL!! Seriously, WHAT THE HELL!!! I thought I've at least settled 2 tests because I'll be having another 2 tests after holidays. BUT WHO KNOWS! 4 tests on 4 consecutive days when school reopens! -________________- Seriously, what a week I had. One after another. Damn suay. Need to: find houses, study for tests, plan for events, do PP project and yada yada yada. How can I relax during holidays? SIGHH!!! I really dunno how to start.. ='( >=( stressed and speechless la, or I shall just go with the flow? Still, DAMN IDIOTIC LA!!

='(

2009-05-28T20:00:00.003+08:00

Feel suffocated in the deepest core of the earth. Of all the lucky draws, I never ever get once but this stupid unlucky draw. COW DUNG! Why me? Why us? Life is really unfair. Feel so shitty! ~~FUCK!~~

Transparent

2009-05-21T10:49:00.004+08:00

I hate my face. People can easily recognise my emotions and feelings just by looking at my face. I don't like. Even though I like people to know how I feel and what I'm thinking sometimes, but there are times that I would like to hide myself, unexposed and not letting people know as well. Guess I just can't control my facial expression perfectly.

3rd week of May.

2009-05-16T15:17:00.011+08:00

Hey people! :) Alright, this time will be a typical proper post with photos and words of mine. Well well welly, I had a nice week overall despite the worst lesson I had few days ago. I can't blame the lessons for being hard but myself. Or shud I give myself an excuse that I have no foundation and therefore a bit slower to catch up? Don't understand the problem, it's alright; tried my very best to find solution and understand it. However, I feel demoralized and depressed when friends explained to me for so many times and I still couldn't get it. Can't help but tears couldn't stop falling. I'm not weak k, just that I'm too stressed and I need to relief. That's just me. Anyway, I really appreciate my classmates' help and they are very lovely and helpful. Thanks a lot! :)

(click to enlarge)

This is what our class usually do during lesson; mass conversation and talk 'something' about faci and everyone in class. :p

(click to enlarge)

Grades for problem 3 and 4. Sigh, I wonder how long more I can maintain these grades for the rest of the weeks. Oh well~ lessons are getting harder and harder. =\

Yesterday was the SHEESHA DAY with my year 1 first semester classmates! Haven't seen them for very loong already. Hairs grew, height increased and people changed too! Let the photos do the talking shall we?

darrell and nicholas. the crazy one. and zhang gui behind. the three musketeers. their so called blueberry drinks. it sucks. =X sheesha-ing! he looks like a drug-addict. :p darrell and dester. darrell: "See, i'm not the only one who said u've changed. others too. I think you should reflect now. :p" sheesha. group photo. another one with graffiti behind. dave, darrell, alif, gloria and dhivyah.

Okay, I tried sheesha for the first time in my life. Wasn't really dare to try at first. hmmm.. nothing special to me though. I don't understand why people can be addicted to it. However, it's 7 times worst than a cigarette. It's practically smoking from charcoals, just that there's flavoured water below. So obviously it's bad for health. But I also heard that it's better than smoking a cigarette? cuz the water acts as a filter. No idea. Anyway, I tried new thing! :) And one clarification here: Trying on sheesha doesn't mean that I've turned bad or stray okay. I'm still the same, people~ -_____- Alright, till here then. Tests are coming soon and I need buck up from now on. good luck to those who are having exams right now too! :) HUGS!

miserable~

2009-05-14T16:17:00.001+08:00

I'm so dead today. Networking is killing me! ='(

love-hate

2009-05-11T15:26:00.003+08:00

I promised myself not to play Restaurant City @ facebook. Friends psycho-ed me to play but I resisted the temptation. However one day, I was too bored that I had nothing to do. Therefore, here I go~ addicted to RC, again. Oh yea, did you guys remember to greet your mom that it was her day yesterday? yeap I did. O=) My weekends, as usual. Went to church and had a good dinner with his family and relatives yesterday, had great talks with his sister and did some stupid and funny stuffs, bitter tears and laughters; oh well, normal life that I'm having right now. "Too much is never enough." I wonder why do humans always ask for more when they already have things that they want? human nature? Humans are just unpredictable and complicated creatures. Sometimes I get fascinated by human's brain, even by myself too. lol. I really wish I could turn back into a baby one more time. Perhaps forever. Don't need to worry about future, the things that you did and going to do. No stress and troubles, just need to think how to get food and toys, that's all. oh well, life ah~ complicated. Peace, everyone! :)

Anyong ha se yo!

2009-05-04T12:55:00.009+08:00

Didn't blog for 1 week only already complained by few people. lol. There are times that I wanted to blog, but time doesn't allow, then when i'm free to blog, i forgot everything and don't know what to blog already and I'm in this situation now. Nowadays classes are kinda slack cuz we just need to show our codes and so on. Nothing much to do during break time and so I'm here. tada~ :) My classmates said I look like a Korean, some said Indonesian, and some said Chinese from China. -.- Since when I got so many identities? lol. I can transform into different kind of races already. blend in huh. So mixed. I'm becoming more kiasu nowadays, went to library and borrowed books related to my modules. Yeap, it's very thick and I have no idea what they are trying to say. lol. read already still don't understand. -_____- pointless also i think. sigh~ OH yea, are you guys aware of "solar storm 2012"? I think ern had mentioned in his blog before. I wonder if it's true or not. Everyone's talking about it. How about you? Kinda scary though. I think the world is going to end soon. Look at the things happening around you. Economic crisis, serious global warming, then here comes the swine flu ( Influenza A- H1N1). I wonder what's next. =S LOL. My friends and I had a plan for this few days ago. We decided to build submarine, in case this really happen and water level rise up to 40 storeys high, we will be safe as long as we're in the submarine. Then we started to distribute work for everyone, some will go collect metals, some will operate the machine, some sponsor money and so on bla bla. Stuffs continue and continue and suddenly I poked their perfect dream! LOL. Anyway, when it's the time for us to die, we will die eventually. We can't really do anything. God can just snap his finger once and we can die at anytime. So yea. Just have to pray lo.. Well, I can't really think of anything to blog now, my mind is totally blank and hopefully, I didn't miss out anything. :) One more thing, Singapore has one suspected swine flu victim already, and he is...

. . . . . . . A PIG! DAMN UGLY and idiotic! =p I love.. ...Starbucks Caramel Frappucino! =D

I'm an IT idiot!

2009-04-23T12:47:00.003+08:00

I feel so happy that I have no class on Wednesday! School days are only on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. So relaxing~ That's why I don't feel like i'm schooling everyday. =p However, I'm seriously an IT noob. Completely starting from the scratch. Today is all about java programming and I can sense that I'm very noisy in class cuz I keep asking questions. Luckily, after close 'contact' with those codes and programs, I made my own so-called program and I felt a sense of achievement! =DD still, can't wait for year 3, BUSINESS! Went to Sakae Sushi for buffet yesterday. =) Really didn't shop for looonngg time already.

LOL. We're beasts!

Yesterday night was rather strange. Super duper uber Strong wind at 11pm+! The trees were shaking and I can hear the loud wind sound "wuuuuuu~~". We all were so excited and stood at the balcony enjoyed the wind. Gosh, i can hardly balance myself when I was trying to take photos. =|

Forehead shown! which I don't like. =p

Oh yea, my today module's faci's name is Sree Kumar. His accent is DAMN strong that not much people can understand him. Somehow it became a joke in class cuz our phrase is always " can you repeat, sir?" lol. "Vat arrree you dovin therre?" "Arree you lookin at my scrreenn?" Guess what race is he. =p Not trying to be mean but I know I am, just wanna be an idiot only. =p

Year 2!

2009-04-20T13:04:00.005+08:00

Hi, I'm Susan and I'm from Brunei, currently taking diploma in business information systems, nice to meet you. =)

Finally, I'm not a newbie anymore~ =D Well, Today seems like another day of holiday to me though. Class was quite fun, classmates are fun to play with and I'm very impressed that our class is kinda noisy even though it's only the first day! However, it could be bad after some time. TOO NOISY! =p hehe. I wasn't nervous at all though, everything seems very normal to me. wee~ Today's module was about web multimedia. Faci was good and lesson was not bad too. Yeap yeap, overall it was quite okay for today.Looking forward for the following days, which those modules I don't think I'll like it cuz it's about IT! database, programming, java and BLA! gosh~ =\ I'll be living with IT this whole semester, perhaps, the whole year. =S

Ready to school! =DD

I am cunning.

2009-04-13T01:18:00.004+08:00

My blog is dying. There are only 5 people viewing my blog yesterday and it's pathetic. I'm a very random person. I can suddenly pop out things which are irrelevant and that is why this post is here. I.am.cunning. Yes I am. I know I have a very bad temper and I'm improving (although I'm still.. but at least better a bit la. =p) I'm good at making you feel guilty too. Besides that, I know I'm very straightforward and I like it. lol. Although it might hurt other people's feelings, but at least I manage to convey my message to others. I think that's just my way of communicating with people. Yes, I'm here to complain again. In other words, trying to share with you all too. So that you will know how to treat people better and know what you're doing. But firstly, this applies to everyone k, it's general, not only me. :) So don't feel offended alright. Okay, I shall start now. I seriously hate those who always like to 'pang seh' (in other words, put aeroplane) people when there's an event or occasion. It's not wrong to not go when people invite you, but it is WRONG to not go whereby you've already promised people that you will go and in the end you cannot make it without a valid reason. Because of your sudden decision, you can affect people's mood and plans. Then everything need to be changed again and you might mess everything up. I really feel like shit when this happens to me. At least you can tell me the day before that, but not last minute, as in really LAST MINUTE where everyone prepared already then out of sudden you said you can't go. So, nvm, it doesn't matter if I go alone afterall, cuz you're the one disappointing that person who invited you to go what, not me. Not my problem. As long as I go and fulfill the purpose, I'm done with it. But try to put yourself in that person's shoes, that person, who invited you to her birthday party, and was very eager and happy for you to come, but unfortunately, you disappointed her in the end. Will she feel disappointed and sad?Will you feel good too? After I got mad and made you feel guilty by explaining the above paragraph, then you changed your mind and said you will go. To me, if that was not your intention initially, you might as well just don't go, seriously, don't go. Points will not be taken even though you've changed your mind already. I just don't like it when you feel that you're forced to do. Hate it. Yes means yes, no means no. Just freaking make up your mind dude. Second complain- I hate it when people touch or take my things without my permission. If you want, think whether it's right or not first. OKay, another example again, real life. I washed my laundries yesterday night, and obviously it's still damp this afternoon cuz they are not really exposed to sunlight, it takes around 2 to 3 days to dry. So when I got back this afternoon, I saw my clothes were placed on the sofa in living room. I thought dry already so I went to checked and touched. It was still damp and this freaked me out, always. If you collect the clothes while they are still damp, it will stink and might grow moulds too. and this is a very NO NO to me! I then went to the so-called laundry area to check again, apparently there were new washed clothes(others') hanging on my previous hangers (whatever it calls)! This kind of thing is very common sense one lo, if the clothes haven't dry yet, do not collect it, if dry, then go ahead. But sadly, common sense is rare nowadays. This really pissed me off. I was thinking who the hell is this selfish people go and remove my clothes when it's not dry yet, and yet she hanged her damn damp clothes some more. If my clothes are dry, I don't mind if you take it down, but the fact it's NOT! I thought i could 'close one eye, open one eye' in this matter again and just ignore it. Usually I'll keep quiet and try to compromise with it. But the more I think about it, the more my blood boils! I really couldn't tolerate this stupid common sense thing anymore as they have been piling over time, so there I went knocking everyone's door and asked. I thought it was the china girl's doing. I almost mis-blamed her and almost raised my tone, but it's not her. (~~if it was her, my blood pressure confirm will rise~~). However, it was one of my nice vietnamese housemates. Anyway, I didn't feel that angry anymore cuz I've talked out, plus it's her. LOL. okay, I am biased so what, I don't care. I do what I like. =p Anyway, the morale of this is, whenever there is a problem, you have to voice out and try to talk and solve it with whoever. Else, you'll keep on piling it up and you will explode eventually. Just like me. LOL. HAHA! this post is super wordy, hope got people read till the end. =p Actually I have more other stuffs to blog about, but this post is too long already, so will make it to next post alright.

wish to maintain this happy face always! =D

and not face with wrinkles! >=) (winnie, still remember this? it's still with me here, hug to sleep le. =p)

Walk, jump, mushroom, flower and shoot!

2009-04-08T19:33:00.007+08:00

GOOD DAY PEOPLE! I haven't been blogging for 8 days already, cuz I have nothing to blog about. Am addicted to NEW SUPER MARIO BROS ds game currently. I completed (actually it's almost..=p) the worlds and stages already! It's so fun and addictive and I'm speaking mario language now! lol. I even dreamt about the mario game the day before yesterday, seriously. omg. Oh yea, I'm starting to love swimming recently. Learning frog style cuz people said it's the easiest one. Plus, you can always keep your head above the water, breathing oxygen and swim slowly. I personally think that frog's swimmig style can survive longer in water compared to others (if you were to fall into the ocean or sea when the airplane condemns during the trip. CHOI CHOI! touchwood.). I hate it when I need to hold my breathe, lower my head down in the water and swim, then half way have to stop and get up in order to catch a breathe again. And that's the only style I know. Okay, you can say i suck at swimming, cuz I really am. =p and hey, did I tell you that i literally can't swim without goggles? Yes, cuz I feel super insecured when swimming without goggles. I always think that I could drown anytime. However, after learning and experienced it, frog style is the HARDEST to me apparently. and I got very impatient and started to give up. Everytime I swim (frog style), I'll half way change to dog's swimming style in order to save myself for being drown. Apparently, I'm better in dog's swimming style lo. sigh. feel so cacat with my body. Okay, there's a random stuff that i wanna share. Sometimes, I do think that brain can control over heart and vice versa. Scenario 1: Brain controls over heart When you're missing someone badly, be it your mom, dad, bf, gf, friend.. You feel that your heart is tearing apart, you cannot stand it anymore and wish that person can be right beside you at that very moment. However, you can actually keep tell your brain/yourself not to think too much about it, it's only a small matter and then force yourself to switch your concentration to other stuff. Eventually, you really won't think about it anymore. hey, it works okay. And that's what I mean by 'brain overpowers heart'. ps: I'm not thinking about him now, so don't assume blindly. =p Scenario 2: Heart controls over brain Well, sometimes your heart is too strong that you yourself can't even control your thoughts. You know the logic of it but still, you can't be bothered with it and go with your own feelings. You know it is stupid and wrong to do it, but your stupid heart just won't obey your big head. agree? A bit contradicting, but that's my own perception la. I wonder if you guys felt the same way as I do or not. Why not try to test yourself? It might help you when you're suffering from either one of them. Homesick, LDR, missing your loved one which stays only a road difference from you and whatsoever. =) happy trying peeps!

01.04.2009

2009-04-01T00:12:00.003+08:00

HEY PEOPLE! I've got the whole video of the dance REFLECTION 2008- MUSE. If you wanna watch it, it's in my facebook. =D BTW, beware of those cheaters! Check out your calendar today.. It's APRIL FOOL! Just to remind that cuz I'm a good girl, find it lame to cheat people though. =p

updated*

2009-03-30T18:34:00.005+08:00

Remember I danced for Reflection 2008 in RP? Below is the video. Saw that at friend's facebook and went to find it in youtube. There are actually combination of 4 songs: Let's go crazy, Purple rain, Kiss and when doves cry. Apparently, the first video is only the first part of the dance, let's go crazy. Better than none. enjoy! =D

His Purple Highness

Okay, this is the last song When doves cry, during Flame Awards 2008.

And this is Flame Awards opening. =)

And I'm banned from tagging people at tagboard. so weird. =( I CAN'T TAG!!

Your fart is damn smelly!

2009-03-30T03:22:00.008+08:00

Have been staring at the screen for few minutes and don't know how to start my post. -________- I feel like chopping my tongue off because of the stupid ulcer! I never got the real ulcer on tongue before except for the extra-popping-out-flesh's ulcer.

Okay, you can find myself very lame to draw it out some more, but back to the point. Can you see something extra popping out from the tongue there? it hurts when you touch it. yea, that's the ulcer that I usually got on tongue.

But now, what I have on my tongue is a drilled-hole-ulcer, which usually happens on lips and inner mouth only (for my case), never on tongue. It's very inconvenient for me to eat and drink. I have to slow down and can't taste the food properly. Imagine literally chomping your food like a turtle, nyumm...... nyumm..... nyumm.... one chomp in 2 seconds. gahh~ and I have to brush my teeth gently too! So suffering. Now that part of my tongue swollen, and the hole is getting deeper. as if bacterias keep drilling down and down. =( I'm not gonna put salt on it mind you. That will give me hell! Even though I just need to tolerate for 5 seconds only and it will be cured the next day, but i rather choose less-pain and wait for few more days to be cured. That's just me, cuz I can't tahan pain. =p Anyway, my day was great yesterday, went to church, had a great dinner and swam. =D 3 more weeks to school reopen and I think I should make use of these holidays as well. =)

this was taken when I was on the way to Miri that day, around Seria there. Nice weather. Hope everyday will always be a beautiful and peace day. Oh yea, heard that school reopen already right, Brunei people? Jia you and all the best k! =D

Hazel. This dog surely know how to express her feelings very well. Look at the eyes, how can you not sayang her when she looks at you?

That's all people. Have a nice week and enjoy! =D

XOXO, Susan

Revived!

2009-03-27T23:08:00.013+08:00

I'm back, and I know that's quite long ago already, 1 week? Yeap yeap, there are so much to blog about but I'm just too lazy. Instead, I'm more into changing my blog layout though. =p soon people, editing~ As I mentioned in my previous post, I had a long journey back to Singapore. From Brunei travelled to Miri in the early morning, then flew to Kota Kinabalu in the afternoon, waited for few hours to fly back to Singapore in the evening. I was very exhausted and almost collapsed, because I only slept for an hour the day before that. Last-minute work is never good at all I tell you. =S Yay! I've been to KK after all! erm, does this count? I wonder. Sometimes, I hate traveling. I don't like the fact that I have to pack my stuffs, thinking what to bring and what is needed, oh oh, and also the carrying part. And also, I don't like the feeling when I'm in the aeroplane. I hate the pressure! As if something's stuffing in my ears and I feel like a deaf person. I used to cry everytime when I was small because of that, everytime. Well, everything's back to normal. Mom doesn't need to be frustrated because of the mess that I caused anymore, no more talk back, no more troubles and she doesn't need to nag again because of my upside-down life when I was back in Brunei. And me, no more pampering and back to independent life again. oh well~ =| ----------------- Went to Singapore Zoo on Sunday. Overall, it was fun and interesting, tired too. Although I've been there few years ago, but I might forget some of the animals, and some animals really do amaze you. Alright, let the photos do the talking, shall we? =)

We are Singapore Zoo's property!

photo taking with parrots.

I wonder whether this alligator's mouth will tired or not. otters, and they stink. endangered species, white tigers. Remember there was a Bangladeshi trying to agitate the white tigers and was killed and bla bla? I kinda forget the incident already. If interested, google it. =) babi hutan. PUMBA! Emu, and it looks like ostrich. I always get confused with them. kangaroo~ oi oi. I ARE BABOON! red butt! as big as my head! little deers.. penguins! They are soo cute! as if wearing tuxedo on their bodies. smart this is one of the penguins, I think it is an attention-seeker, damn cute. Keep swimming in front of everyone for quite long. must watch! =D [erm, just click the 'play' button on the first box will do. something's wrong with the extra square below and I don't what's wrong. just ignore it.] big komodo dragon. eww~ I hate reptiles. super BIG tortoise! should be very old already. iguana. Somehow, I kinda confused with iguana, monitor lizard and chameleon. I just can't differentiate them. sssnake. cobra. this snake reminds me of the jungle book cartoon, the evil snake which likes to hypnotize people. I don't think they look alike, but anyway.. =p cheetah or leopard? I don't know. okay, I feel like a stupid now. Hope I won't forget my surname. LOL. GRACE!! You're there! =p okay, this is ostrich. See, told you there look alike. zebra. Heard that zebras are stupid. They follow the same mistakes even if it's wrong. rhino. see the birds there? I always think that they are good friends, but someone told me that the reason why birds always get close to rhino because they can eat the I-don't-know-what-stuffs on the rhino skins. polar bear. I wonder when is the last time this polar bathe. There's actually algae growing on the fur. =\ yuck. squirrels.. cute! the childish-es.. while walking, we saw this. looked fun so we planned to join too. It was like a pulling ferry, where you stand on it and start to pull the rope, it will then move~ pull pull pull! It may look easy, but actually it's not. Yeap, that's the end of the zoo story. I wonder what do the animals think and how do they feel, where they need to face a lot of humans everyday. Will they feel harassed? For this, I can't put myself in their shoes. HAPPY SEVENTH MONTH IDIOT! >=)

My blog layout is finally done! =DD

Bon voyage!

2009-03-18T20:54:00.001+08:00

Bye Brunei! Will be leaving for singapore tomorrow. And it's gonna be a long journey again. My my, What a lovely vacation i had these two months. Family is great, and friends are great too! Really enjoyed a lot. Friends are really sweet and nice, some of them came to my house for few times, just to see me before i go back. Some Called me out to lim teh and chill for Fun. And there was a person didnt even hesitate to tapao nasi katok for me during midnight. You guys are too sweet. :) appreciated it, very much. Hugs. Oh well, hope everyone's doing fine and see you guys maybe in september? I guess. Big hug! Muacks! :-D love you all!

2009-03-16T00:55:00.002+08:00

我需要一个出气筒！我快要窒息了！受不了了！天啊！

symptoms?

2009-03-12T02:19:00.003+08:00

Recently, I have craving for food. Whatever kind of food that my mind could think of, I want it immediately. Cucur pisang, fried chicken, prawn crackers, mee goreng, Ben & Jerry's ice-cream, maggie mee, chocolates, cakes, pizza and many many more! My tummy growls anytime it wants. For instance, today, I had my lunch at 3pm+, then I went on to have my dinner at 6pm+, after that, I had a small packet of nasi lemak at 9pm+! It's 2am+ going to 3am now, and my tummy tells me that I'm am still hungry! what a big appetite I have! what the heck~ Besides that, I always feel dizzy and wobbly when I just wake up, or even stand up after sitting for quite long, my vision will suddenly black out for 2 or 3 seconds and feel like falling down. =S No no, I'm not pregnant, people. =) duh! haha. I'm having a same case as PinJia's having now: ~~MENSTRUATION!~~ =p Guess we have telepathy connection! =D haha. Just like what she said, we can never be full eventhough ate a lot of stuffs already. =S However, I'm different from her, I still love food though. I just can't resist them when I see them. (who can, right?) Okay okay, I have put on weights, again. Sigh~ Sometimes, how I wish I could be the one who doesn't even care about her appearance and weight, just eat and live happily as she wishes. BUT! too bad I can't! Just blame myself for being so superficial and vain. -______- Anyway, I used to be fat when I was in secondary school and slimed down, so means that I can be fat and slim down again lo. It's just a matter of time anyway. =\ So, I can eat happily whenever i want! muahaha. FOOD! come to momma! ps: Exactly one more week left in Brunei. =S

I am complicated

2009-03-10T23:04:00.005+08:00

HAHAHAHA! I just had a ~~cat~~ fight with my bro! He ended up with scratches and scars on his body and I'm totally under good condition! description: A long scratch with blood at his back, accompanied with small scratches beside, and 3 hard scratches on his arms! muahahha! To clarify, the injury at his back wasn't caused by me. It was the door which he tried to use that to defend and aattack me when i was chasing him. He accidentally knocked on it and boom! Regarding the scars on his arms, according to him, it was done by me. =p See, this is his retribution for disturbing me when I was doing something. =p huh! *good for you bro!* I'm so gonna leave more scars on his body so that he will miss me when I go back! lala~ ----------- Brunei's weather is rather hot, compared to Singapore. Seriously, I cannot tahan the heat even if I'm just sitting in my living room. What to say again if I'm outside. I can feel the UV lights directly attack my skin and eyes! No wonder I'm getting dark nowadays. I specially hate it when I'm done with everything, bathed, cleaned, put on make up and ready to go out and my sweat glands start to become active when I just leave my room only. Can you imagine how hot the weather is? However, when it rains, as if the sky is leaking, downpours like cats and dogs. so exaggerating la! haha. I wonder when will the earth ends.. =\ Oh well, I'm having mixed feelings right now. feel sad and excited at the same time? Time flies and I'm going back real soon. To be frank, I love my life in Brunei now though. Care-free and slow. Eat, sleep, online, watch dramas and movies, hang out and do nothing; I actually enjoy it. That's why sometimes when people asked me whether I'm bored or not, I don't really think so. =) 2 months already and I'm so used to the lifestyle here now; Being pampered and everything. When I get back, have to start stressing myself out again. =\ sigh~ Three words, I AM COMPLICATED!

die.died.dead.death

2009-03-07T11:36:00.005+08:00

My blog is dead! HAHA! so dead. =p

My body clock is working abnormally nowadays. I laid down on bed at 2.30am yesterday and I couldn't sleep till 5am++! I was very awake at that time some more. Rolling from left to right, right to left as if the queen size bed was fully occupied by this active worm. =p So, I talked to him on phone till 8.45am and went to sleep after that. Woke up at 10.00am just now to get myself ready and I'm here, cheezbox restaurant meeting Karen for lunch. =) Guess not only my body's working 'cacat-ly', billions of brain cells were killed during the phone call too. Not to forget, eyebags dark circles pimples = complexion sucks! I can't blame or complain too much cause this is my own doing. -____- so suit myself! urgh~ *eh karen the late queen, I'm very hungry now la. =( where are you?*

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oh ya ya! I have made it to the Academic Roll of Honour for AY08/09 Semester 2! =DD HAHA, I'm damn happy now! Well, nothing much to be proud of, BUT BUT! I never expect myself to be one of them eh. wee~ although there's nothing I can be rewarded with, but yea, HAPPY still! =D It's enough for me, really. And, I'm glad that my GPA in semester 2 never drop, instead, I actually improved. Haha. shocked! well, guess that I'm lucky though. =p In a way, it also motivates me to work harder in year 2. Have to aim for higher GPA! hope to have no regrets anymore. =\

*yay! karen, you're here! =p eating time! bye everyone. =)*

random!

2009-02-21T15:28:00.003+08:00

HIHI guys! =D I'm officially known as LAZY BUM now. As i can hardly go online recently, therefore i'm lazy to blog too. The internet speed is testing my patience. seriously! urghh! Anyway, will just briefly update what have i done recently. Have been going out with friends and family recently. My valentine's day was kinda great too, even though it's not with him. =\ Yeap, went out with a group of friends instead. Movie, dinner and beach. =) Guess some of them had blogged about it too.

@ Jhy Haou's place. A lot of us almost got drunk and thanks to him. -____- @ Jerudong Beach during Valentine's day

Well, not much pictures though. lazy. =p For more pictures, can check it out from my facebook. =) Currently at Cheezbox restaurant, with seng wei and ern. As i always say, it's good to visit old friends and gather around. =) Can talk everything under the sun. Anyway, till here peeps. =D ps: I'm getting fatter now. -.- Weight still remains the same, but i don't know why, fats are accumulating around my waist, and face! Jeans and shorts are getting tighter, and i can even see my tummy protruding out when I wear shirts! That kind of "compliment" is definitely not a miss for me: "Wah, getting chubbier already huh." sigh~ think I should start to burn it from now on.

untitled

2009-02-13T16:42:00.003+08:00

I don't know. I'm having mixed feelings at the moment. I find myself a complicated person. Just can't understand myself. sigh~ Well, helping out at Republic Polytechnic talks and seminar was great. the feedbacks were great too. Hopefully will see many juniors next year. =p Most of all, getting good results is the most important thing. With good results, you can enter any of the schools, colleges or universities. However, with bad results, none of the schools will want to accept you. agree? yea, so jia you peeps! =D ANyhow, currently at Jhy Haou's place, celebrating his birthday. =D at least there are some parties and RP thingy occupy me throughout the week. and not to forget, house chores too! -__________- Well, time flies really fast. I've been in Brunei for 3 to 4 weeks already. Left one more month and i'll be back again. woo~ hmmm.. gonna be alone during valentine's day. how pathetic. HAHA! what to do. one at the west, one at the east. =\ the funny thing is that, next year, the first day of CNY falls on valentine's day too! SAME DAY some more! ahh~ obviously i'll be in Brunei celebrating CNY lo.. -______- anyway, have to face it. there are things that we can't change no matter what. But, we can find ways to modify it, or adapt to it. be positive lo~ alright, till here then. gonna continue the gathering. =) tata~ =(

reminiscence

2009-02-06T12:57:00.004+08:00

It is always good to visit your former school, and do some catch-ups with your teachers and friends. The feeling is so good. :) I like to recall the time when we all had fun together in secondary school, the nonsense stuffs we did and the place we used to hang out together. oh yea! the food in canteen too! gosh~ uber memorable la! =D Somehow, I feel great when I see familiar faces and know that they are doing well. Anyway, didn't really take much photos though. Kinda lazy with it already. Not in a blogging mood nowadays, so not really into taking photos. Have been visiting houses during cny. I find it great cuz it is one of the ways of meeting up and gathering with friends. Chit chat + gamble + laughter + gossips = =D Well, nothing much to post. I can sense that my life pace is very slow currently. haha. taking my own sweet time doing everything, I mean everything. =\ See ya people! =D

RP's education seminar in Brunei

2009-02-04T21:56:00.002+08:00

A short reminder here people! RP's education seminar Date: 8th February 2009, Sunday Time: 2.30pm - 5.30pm Venue: Centrepoint Hotel, Purple Jade, Level 6, Gadong. If you are interested in knowing more about having a tertiary education in Singapore, do visit us at the upcoming education seminar. See you there! =)

Chinese watery new year

2009-01-26T02:52:00.003+08:00

First of all, HAPPY CHINESE MOO YEAR! However, it was a very watery new year though. Rained heavily again, and flood too! We are now stuck at cousins' house and couldn't go back. Therefore, we got no choice but to stay over. *sigh~ what a year..*

Fortunately, the rain stopped when it was almost 12am. phew~ All of us thought we're gonna miss the firework session because of that. One of the long crackers stopped half way because accidentally soaked in water. -____- wasted.

Neighbours did not lose out during the firework session too! =D

like somekind of explosion. Was kinda deaf for half an hour. =S

After that, we went to the road out there.. or should I say, river-like road? It looked like this after hours of downpours.

We, the kepo people, were kinda excited for no reason. walked around on the road which filled with dirty water (mixture of mud, shit, drain water and watever u can think of =p)

and it stinks i tell you!

Does it look like a river to you?

drain & road = same! can't even differentiate anymore.

okay, ignore my fat thighs, the water literally covered up my ankles and almost reached my knees! Gee.. what a year huh.

fantasy

2009-01-25T18:12:00.004+08:00

Few more hours to Chinese New Year.. Relatives and family are preparing for reunion dinner.. There will be fireworks when the clock strikes 12am, as usual. Wishes will be floating around in air too. Most of all, RED PACKETS! =D Well, for some reasons, this new year doesn't seem special to me though. Reunion? I doubt so. Feel complicated now.. My mind and heart are fighting against each other.. Sometimes, i always question myself : why do I have to suffer from this? why me? It makes no different whether I'm having you or not. exist = not exist at all Guess that's my luck.. When i was small, I thought you were my superman, just like others have theirs, rescue us whenever we have problems, accompany us when we're alone, support us when we need you.. However.. it doesn't seem to happen like what i wish for. Even if it is just a tiny simple thing, you disappointed us, everytime.. Now, I don't wish to have anything from you anymore, just hope you won't worsen it. That's all. Anyway, since I'm here already, just forget about it and treat it as invisible. What to do, just tolerate some more lo, since I've tolerated it for years, or probably a decade already? Time just passed subconsciously.. Somehow, guess I should be thankful and appreciate what I'm having right now, as it taught me how to live life meaningfully, look things in a different way and not to take things for granted. Furthermore, became a stronger person too! And I swear I won't follow the same path as they are having right now, instead, I will try to make it even better no matter what! cross my heart and hope to die! Slowly, step by step and walking towards my dream life.. --------------------

ANYWAY, not to spoil my CNY mood, I'm here to wish everyone

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! may all of you have a great year ahead and enjoy! =D

2009-01-22T14:53:00.004+08:00

Oh well, everyone's talking about Brunei's weather. sigh~ Yes, it's very very terrible! Can say almost whole Brunei black out ba.. (over exaggerate though) ESPECIALLY MY HOUSE TOO! No electricity, no current. Super inconvenient eh! When I was on my way home to Brunei on Monday, it started to rain heavily. Is this a way of welcoming me? hmm.. Then the next day, rained heavily again. I was stucked in Gadong for 2 hours plus till midnite, just to wait for the water level decrease. Gadong area flooded, even Kiulap, Beribi and more too! what a bad weather Brunei has! I just came back and everything was like, WHOA~ Flash flood, phone line down, no current.. suffering! Hope it's not because of me. HAHAHA! =p anyway, I wont online that frequent as before. Internet speed slow, current sot sot also. sigh~ sounds like I'm at somekind of backdated place.. what to do.. well, till here. =) will blog again soon. =) tata~ I MISS YOU!

in Brunei!

2009-01-20T15:06:00.004+08:00

Yes, I'm in Brunei now. =D Anyway, short update here. Republic Polytechnic will be holding an education seminar at Centrepoint Hotel, Gadong on 8th of February, Sunday, 2.30 to 5.30pm. For those who are interested, you're most welcome of course. and I'll be there too! So, see you there! =D In addition, we will be having school talks at different schools too. Below is the summarized schedule: 8th Feb 2009, Sunday, 2.30 - 5.30pm - Education Seminar at Centrepoint Hotel, Gadong. 9th Feb 2009, Monday, 8.30 - 9.30am - School talk at Chung Hua Secondary School, K.Belait. 10.00 - 11.00am- School talk at Chung Ching Secondary School, Seria. 11.30 - 12.30pm - School talk at St.Margaret's School, Seria. 10th Feb 2009, Tuesday, 8.30 - 9.30am - School talk at Chung Hwa Middle School, Bandar. 10.00 - 11.00am - School talk at SOAS College, Bandar. 11.30 - 12.30pm - School talk at Pengiran Anak Puteri Hajah Masnah Secondary School, Lambak. Yeap yeap, that's all. Any questions or problems, feel free to contact me at msn, or just tag beside there. =D HOPE TO SEE U THERE!

PON PON PON!

2009-01-15T00:38:00.007+08:00

Skipping class is DAMN addictive! and contagious too! Once you skipped once, you will feel like skipping the next day again. =| Person A: Ehh.. I feel like 'pon' eh today.. ( is a short form of 'ponteng', which is commonly used by ppl in singapore. means skipping class) shouting out in the class, while slacking.. Person B: Yea lo yea lo.. me too!! sigh~ no mood to stay le.. Person C: Me three me three! ba, let's go! packed bag and leave.. Gosh, it's really ADDICTIVE, CONTAGIOUS and I mean it! haha. and I'm one of them too actually. lalala~ I've been skipping class these few days. I got no mood already, seriously. Brain totally shut down and don't even feel like brainstorming. Sorry to those who are in my team. -____- As time goes by, I can't be bothered with my daily grades as well. CHAM! which means that, my GPA gonna drop! =( sigh~ no choice, have to 'qiong' in year 2 already, in order to pull up my GPA. sigh~ jia you ba! feel so guilty... =( It's Thursday today and I haven't pack my bag yet. still early, no? And I haven't buy any food back home as well. Gotta speed up everything so that no last-minute work and rush! well, only know how to say, I don't think I'll change this habit for I'm a procrastinator! Oh ya, I had a video interviewing session today, which will be shown in RP education seminar in overseas. It was okay though, except for the NGs part. =) For your information, RP will be going to Brunei to have seminars about further studies in Republic Polytechnic on 1st of February. For those Brunei people who are interested, feel free to contact me and I'll give you more details about it. =D that's all.