She, my heart.

Few days ago, I told my brother to inform my mom to look out for Singapore registered companies in Brunei. Just one sentences, and she replied this: 

Dear Xian

I am sad. wondering why you are tired of living in Spore ? Any thing make you so up sad ? Your study ? Dom ?

Or you worried cant find a job there after school ?

Mama understand how you feel staying alone far away from home. Please take it easy, if there is a will, there is

a way. Mama believed you can cope every thing, over come when problem facing you. Please don't give pressure to yourself.

Yes, how i wish you can come back to Brunei to work if you can. That is what every parents wish their children can stay together, share the love, happiness. I can't ask too much from my children, I would be glad if two of you have a bright future any where any place, where you can have a better life, right.

Dear Xian, do not worry about papa, how how and me, we are doing well here. I will try my very very best to share all my love, whatever i can either to you or t t. Talk to me if you have any personal problem, mama is willing to hear from you.

Any way, i will start to pay attention for those Spore's Company here or ask people around for the job.

T T called me saying that he is going to Spore on 21/12. please ask $500 from him. Will bank in to your a/c next month.

Christmas is around the corner, how are you going to spent it ?

Good night, have a good sleep

Love always from mama

And following is what I replied her: 

Hi Mama, I'm so glad and appreciate that you're so understanding and there's no words I could use to describe my feelings right now. You're so generous and positive, how could I learn this from you? You take things and life easily although you had a lot of hiccups in life and yet, you're happy-go-lucky still! You have plentiful of love that never fails to give everyone, especially your children. You always cheer me up whenever I have or don't have problems. You don't question me much and never fail to let me have my own way of life. As a daughter, what else can I ask for more? I thought you would be happy if I were to go back to Brunei in future. I was quite surprised that you were sad as mentioned in the previous email. Well, I'm not quite sure as well. I guess Life just tires me up. Maybe I'm just not ready to face the future yet? I don't know. Perhaps I just want to be forever in your arm like a small little girl. :) No worries for what's going to be tomorrow, no worries for what will come to you next because you know someone out there will always going to shelter and protect you. Maybe I just miss that feeling again, feeling of being like a princess. haha! I know I am not supposed to do and behave like that at this age anymore. I've got to fight for myself, find my own life and not to depend on anyone. Nevertheless, I can't help but to feel this way. Anyway, I am not sure with everything yet. About the job hunting in Brunei, I just want to know what are the companies down there so that I can at least plan or visualize where should I place myself at next time. Thank you mom! I love you. Thanks for taking my shits all the time and still taking in right now as always. I know you love my shits as well! hehehehhehe! muahhhhhhhhh! Love, Your princess.

How understanding and lovely can she be? I am so proud to have her! (:

Going back

 
   
   
   
   
   
   
 
 

What do you do when you miss home? When you miss your past? I look through my photos again and again just to reminiscing them. I dearly miss Brunei a lot, a lot. Although shopping malls and crowds are not as exaggerating as Singapore, although the country is not as efficient as Singapore, not much of entertainment that can drives you crazy all day night long, Somehow, there is this unseen force makes me want to stay there. I guess it's my family, the environment and the pace there. So what if it is slow and boring? That could be your own definition. I would rather have a stress-free mind and my own pace to do what I want. I don't mind going back after graduation, even if it means settling down there. I'm serious. I'm tired.

Which direction?

To wait for changes to be better? Or to get something that is already good? Both are tough.

Reaching soon

3 more weeks to 2011 and whatever happened in 2010 have not really register in my brain yet. Time certainly jet by real fast! Christmas is around the corner. Town and shopping malls are lightened up with breathtaking lights and decorations. The only thing missing now is snow. I truly want to experience snow at least once in my life time. I love cold weather and would wish to play snow during winter. Somehow I think that Christmas is like an international festival for everyone and every race in the world. People really take Christmas seriously by putting up decorations everywhere. Be it any races, everyone is looking forward to Christmas. Hmmm. I thought it is a big thing for Christians only?

On the other hand, I am not enjoying this December though. Lessons are still going on till 17th and finally I've got 2 weeks holidays till 2rd Jan. 2 weeks is never enough for me, for everyone. Great, I've got FYP to complete too and I am still stuck! Sometimes I really wonder why did I even choose this course without fully understand what I am going to do throughout the 3 years. Sigh. Stress level maxxx! I really have no idea on my FYP. 

Oh, Dom and I have made an unbreakable vow yesterday; which we must run every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday for healthy purpose. As I mentioned before, I want to tone up, and achieve at least 52kg ! We're aiming to get rid of the muffin top!

I always thought Harry Potter was a boring story and movie. Few weeks ago, I went to watch Harry Potter's 7th movie, which is my first HP movie. Then Dom made me watched from the 1st till the latest one again. Now I understand why people are so crazy about HP. DUMBLEDORE DIED! :( Anyway I love the Weasley twins. They are so cute and handsome!

Alright, that's all for now. Wordy post I know. Class ended. Gotta run!