Wednesday, January 27, 2010


2 more weeks to go and there goes Chinese New Year! Seriously, I do not have CNY mood at all. Sg doesn't give me CNY feels. This just kicked into my brain like yesterday only. I haven't get myself new year clothes as well. Not planning to though. (: I'll be back on 13th Feb CNY eve, celebrating in Miri with family and cousins. Dad is not tagging along because his has no passport. -.- Oh well. I'll most probably be staying in Brunei for a month only, planning to get a part time job in Sg. Hopefully this time is the real one! Always wanted to get a job for extra income but unfortunately, performances and events always occupy me. One after another. I love it and somewhat hate it at the same time for keeping me busy and have no extra time for other things.
Yes, I'm involved in an event (Assimilation Program '10) this coming holiday, again. Dragged in by them and I have no choice. Guess there will be a second thought about my part-time job thingy again. Urgh. I can never get this done at all.
Meantime, I feel damn guilty for my mom. She misses me so much but I can't do much for her. I think she wants me to stay in Brunei as long as I could, meaning the whole holiday of mine would be the best, but then I don't think I will allow myself to rot at home and behaving unproductively. Plus, I'm going to 3rd year, I'm pretty sure that I'll have project to do before the school starts too. Mom never fails to shower me with love, care and money. Basically, she showers me with all she has; she makes sure I have enough money and meals everyday; she calls just to catch up with me every week; always being paranoid and thought that I don't eat just to save money -.- ; texts me randomly just to tell me what is she doing; being paranoid on the phone again and thought that I broke up with him because I sounded tired and sad on phone after my dance lesson -.- ; she tells me not to study tooo hard and not to give myself too much pressure. I thought I'm supposed to study hard and get good grades and yet she's encouraging me to slack. HAHA! ; She reminds me how many days left I'll be back to Brunei every holidays; The cutest conversation I've ever had on the phone: 'Xian ah, are you very stressed?' 'erm, okay okay la. why?' 'Oh. Which floor do you live?' '6th floor.' 'Wa. Is it very high? Quite high right?' 'Not really. Just nice. Windy.' 'If you're very stressed and can't take it anymore, don't jump okay. You can come back to Brunei and accompany me. You can work or study here as well, then we both can have breakfast every morning together and then you can send me to work after that. ' '-.- MOM! please la. I still wanna live okay. Don't think so much la! LMAO!' See, how cute is she? Where to get such MOM? Mommy is always the best! She's waiting to cook delicious dishes for me when I'm back to Brunei! :D :D :D Oh oh, my brother and daddy tooo! No matter how worn out and stressed I am here, I know that back there, there will always be people ready to back me up and support me. :D
even though we have hell lot of ups and downs as well, you never give up on me too, cacat. <3

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


I really don't know what's right or wrong right now. It seems wrong to behave like this and yet it's not right to not do anything. All I know is that truth hurts isn't it. Feel like I'm cheated. Great. Human is such a bitchy creature. They take things for granted; they don't treasure what they have in front of them but thirst for things that they can't have. It's the thought that counts. Too much is never enough uh. Guess they like to play this kind of game. Don't be too greedy, else you will get nothing in the end. Prove it to me if you think you're right and clean. Wish you luck.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


LOL! Yes I'm still alive. Just that kinda lazy to blog or too busy. I believe that you guys can get any updates from my facebook right? I'm more active in fb apparently. So i think this blog is somehow unnecessary already. =\ However, I still visit my blog everyday though. LOL. Still, big thanks to those who still visit my blog everyday just to check whether I update or not. Sank kew veri mach! :D Exams are happening these two weeks and I'm totally unprepared! I have no idea how to start. -.- At the same time, am having lots of rehearsals for events too. Great. I guess I should just give up on studies and move forward to performing arts side. Maybe this might excites me more. :D Okay, below is the summary of what I've done during December 09. :D
ISF 2009
My choreography, Chinese dance; Mo Li Hua. Modern Dance; Ai Pia Jia Eh Yia. International peeps. <3 W65G Class Outing @ Marina Barrage Chong Pin Jia's Invasion; Shopping, makan, outings, broke! First ever Xiao Long Bao. yummm! Modern Dance X'mas Party; Masquerade! Steamboat during New Year Eve @ Dom's and.. my forever retarded <3. :D
Oh well, feel like it's still 2009 though. To me, it makes no big difference. I don't have any new year or 2010 resolution and stuffs because I don't believe in this kind of thing. It doesn't work for me apparently. HAHA! Guess 'procrastinator, slacker, complainer, angsty' will forever be with me. It's impossible to change la, please. :D 2010, just hope that I live it to the fullest, that's all. :D *shucks, gotta get back to studies, dance, events and rehearsals. -.-*