Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Confined

2 more weeks to go and there goes Chinese New Year! Seriously, I do not have CNY mood at all. Sg doesn't give me CNY feels. This just kicked into my brain like yesterday only. I haven't get myself new year clothes as well. Not planning to though. (: I'll be back on 13th Feb CNY eve, celebrating in Miri with family and cousins. Dad is not tagging along because his has no passport. -.- Oh well. I'll most probably be staying in Brunei for a month only, planning to get a part time job in Sg. Hopefully this time is the real one! Always wanted to get a job for extra income but unfortunately, performances and events always occupy me. One after another. I love it and somewhat hate it at the same time for keeping me busy and have no extra time for other things.
Yes, I'm involved in an event (Assimilation Program '10) this coming holiday, again. Dragged in by them and I have no choice. Guess there will be a second thought about my part-time job thingy again. Urgh. I can never get this done at all.
Meantime, I feel damn guilty for my mom. She misses me so much but I can't do much for her. I think she wants me to stay in Brunei as long as I could, meaning the whole holiday of mine would be the best, but then I don't think I will allow myself to rot at home and behaving unproductively. Plus, I'm going to 3rd year, I'm pretty sure that I'll have project to do before the school starts too. Mom never fails to shower me with love, care and money. Basically, she showers me with all she has; she makes sure I have enough money and meals everyday; she calls just to catch up with me every week; always being paranoid and thought that I don't eat just to save money -.- ; texts me randomly just to tell me what is she doing; being paranoid on the phone again and thought that I broke up with him because I sounded tired and sad on phone after my dance lesson -.- ; she tells me not to study tooo hard and not to give myself too much pressure. I thought I'm supposed to study hard and get good grades and yet she's encouraging me to slack. HAHA! ; She reminds me how many days left I'll be back to Brunei every holidays; The cutest conversation I've ever had on the phone: 'Xian ah, are you very stressed?' 'erm, okay okay la. why?' 'Oh. Which floor do you live?' '6th floor.' 'Wa. Is it very high? Quite high right?' 'Not really. Just nice. Windy.' 'If you're very stressed and can't take it anymore, don't jump okay. You can come back to Brunei and accompany me. You can work or study here as well, then we both can have breakfast every morning together and then you can send me to work after that. ' '-.- MOM! please la. I still wanna live okay. Don't think so much la! LMAO!' See, how cute is she? Where to get such MOM? Mommy is always the best! She's waiting to cook delicious dishes for me when I'm back to Brunei! :D :D :D Oh oh, my brother and daddy tooo! No matter how worn out and stressed I am here, I know that back there, there will always be people ready to back me up and support me. :D
even though we have hell lot of ups and downs as well, you never give up on me too, cacat. <3

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