Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rainbows after rain

1) I got A for my first test in one of my modules. Then I got C+ for the second test. Major jump. I regretted for not taking leave of absence (LOA) that day so that I don't have to take the test hence it won't affect and pull my previous grade down. I should have listened to my friend. Cheat way but at least I could maintain my grade.

2) I was falling asleep in one of the tests and didn't really manage to finish the paper due to lack of time.

3) I had one of my papers left with 10 marks empty. Insufficient time, again.  

4) FYP. Our team didn't meet the user requirement of the project thus ended up with bullets and knives from the evaluators. 

I was very upset and disappointed in myself. Why are all these happening on me at this time? This is my last lap of poly, last chance to boost my GPA and I just had to screw things up. I blamed things for being such a bitch and not on my side. I blamed the papers and people for not beautifying everything that I am doing right now. I blamed for hindering me to meet my expectations. If there's expectation, there's disappointment, then regrets come after that. It's funny how expectations can affect oneself when you are the one who created it. When there are faults, we tend to blame others for causing this or that consequences, bombard them as if they deserve all the guilt. However after all the failures and reflections that I've done for the past few days, I realised that I should not to blame others but myself. I think I'm quite good at handling that right now. I've learned how to correct myself and think through every single process from the beginning when things go haywire.  

Corrections: 1) If I take LOA, I could have give that test a pass and maintain my grade. I shouldn't be so lazy to visit doctor and get mc, just for the sake of the grade. And although I didn't take LOA, I should have studied hard enough to answer the paper. Lack of knowledge.  

2) If I get enough sleep before the test, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO COMPLETE THE TEST. 

3) If I really know how to answer my paper, i could have done it fast and not to spend so much time on each question figuring how to solve it. Again, lack of knowledge.  

4) Teammate was stubborn. If I was stubborn enough to stop my teammate from developing further than required earlier ago, I guess we should be able to block the bullets and knives. We're asked to develop 2D games, and we added 3D games extra. Act smart. LOL. Now I know why is too much of GOOD is not good.
Oh well, what's done is done. No point mourning and keep harping about it. At least I've learned and acknowledge my mistakes. It's all the learning experience that counts isn't. Fuck the grades okay haha! I'll grow from it and fret not, I grew as a person! And I'm looking at the silver linings in everything right now! How great. :D FYP is over and I'm left with the final exams. I'm very determined to study hard for the last one right now. 

Wish me luck!